Cold & Gray

 Today in south new Jersey it is going to snow but not where I live. Where I live it is a cold  and ugly grey day. For once I am happy that we will not be getting snow, the cold grey day suits my mood much better than the pretty bright flakes that snow makes.
   I am still stinging from the news that my friend Sharon has past. She was too young and too good to be taken from us but cancer really doesn't care. My eyes are sore and swollen from all the tears I have shed. I went to bed with a sadness wrapped around my heart and when I woke up this morning the sadness was still there just squeezing the joy right out of me, leaving me feel cold and grey. 
 I already miss my friend and in truth I wouldn't see her for 7 more months when we would all gather on the field and vacation like only Festival friends can. For one week we live together. Spread out in tents and campers on a working farm field that has been harvested. Unless you experience this week for yourself you really can't imagine the closeness the camaraderie and the love that grows between us year after year. The bond strong and when one of this large and happy family is taken from us it is like losing an actual family member, sometimes it is even harder. Today it is harder. I am cold and grey.
  If I feel this bad and hurt this much I can't imagine what  Tammy, Sharon's daughter and best friend is feeling. I have never seen a happier mother daughter team. Tammy cared for her Mom long before she got sick. She would always have one eye on Sharon no matter where at fest we were. Tammy's love and concern and constant caring for her mom was always there. I am sure they had their moments when all was not bliss but I never saw that. What I saw was 2 friends best friends laughing,loving, and living life to the best of their ability. I can only imagine that Tammy is feeling cold and grey.
  I wish I could say cold and grey is void of feeling, but I can't cold and grey hurts it stings, makes breathing hard, and removes all joy from you. It leaves you feeling lost and all alone. 
  All Sharon's many friends, family and extended family today are feeling  cold and grey  I am sure. Today and everyday after that this world will be a little colder and little greyer for missing one of the finest woman that walked this earth.