FLEAS!

  I have spent the last month doing battle with fleas. Yes fleas. 

   I have to have the cleanest bedding, carpet and dog in town. Poor BowD, he has been put through the ringer in an effort to get those damn free loaders off his back.

  If you have pets, or live in a large city, then I am sure you understand the battle, if you don't have pets, or live in a large city, or never experienced  fleas, odds are you will not understand the mania that those almost too small to see insects can bring.

  Picture if you can a large man with the look of fear in his eyes, charging through the store asking anyone and everyone, "where is the flea killer spray. My wife is flipping the furniture upside down as we speak. It is getting serious." Or the same said man coming home with ONLY 4 cans of the killer spray and it is the generic brand to boot. 

  Having never gone through a flea infestation with me before, Bill was not prepared for the warrior queen that emerged. Don't picture Wonder Women in her alluring uniform and oh so cool tools, no, no picture Carol Burnett, wearing a bathrobe, shower cap and carrying a mop bucket, broom and a vacuum. That would be me, I would be that warrior queen.  

   BowD gets dotted faithfully the first week of each month. October was no different. I dotted BowD and thought nothing more about it, until I noticed him scratching way more than normal. I mean he was getting in there deep and rolling on his back trying to ease the itch. His attitude and little cries as he rolled around, told me there was a problem. I started with checking his food, to make sure he wasn't getting chicken. Then I started looking for skin irritations and tics, what I found was in my opinion so much worse, I found fleas. Not one or two, but an army making camp at the base of his tail.  I sounded the alarm and was off to war.

  The first thing I did was research how soon BowD could be retreated without poisoning him. Second I got a new brand of flea treatment. At the same time I was doing that I was already tearing the house apart, stripping the beds and vacuuming every exposed corner he might be able to get to. Bill was on his first of many trips to the store for treatment for the house. 

When it comes to fleas,  after years in a city that had an annual Spring flea march, where you could actually see the fleas crossing the road, I don't play. 

 The wait time between treatments was ten days. My poor baby would have been a chewed up emotional wreck in 10 days, not to mention the colony would have most likely doubled by then. So I did some more research and found out calming non medicated shampoos would at least help keep his skin from flaring up too much. A little more research showed me that oils like Jojoba or sweet almond would smoother fleas, and help keep BowD's skin moisturized. I had both oils on hand so I made a mixture with the calming shampoo. Bill bathed a reluctant and at times angry BowD, maybe three times in those ten days and while it didn't end the fleas he got relief and a full nights sleep with each bath. 

   Finally! the ten days are up, and I dot BowD, Bill takes BowD out for a long ride and I get busy and treat the house again. I wash the bedding, vacuum, spray the carpets, I sprayed so much spray it took an hour before you could see across the room. I did everything I know to do to get the house flea free. 

BowD comes home, happy as always to have gone riding with daddy.

    The scratching appeared to have calmed to a stop. Bill and I look at each other satisfied thinking we fixed the problem. At least we thought we had fixed it, no more than 3 hours after all that, we see him start scratching again. BowD has gotten clever enough now he is using the bottom edge of Bill's bed to scratch his back. I start inspecting BowD's back, much to his displeasure and sure enough the fleas are having a party, smoking cigars and drinking brandy, having a good ole time making my boy uncomfortable. Well it is back to the calming baths and vacuuming as much as possible.It is back once again to one very angry BowD, he hates anything related to grooming, like a bath, or having his fur ruffed so we can see deep down to the skin, and for goodness sake do not bring out a comb or brush that might be intended for him. All of which needed to be done repeatedly. 

   I can't begin to explain the mad, I hate you, cute chihuahua looks and attitude this boy gave us.

  It was suppose to be another ten day wait, but we couldn't bring ourselves to let BowD suffer that long, so around day five maybe six, Bill bathed BowD with an all natural flea shampoo. With BowD's attitude about grooming this wasn't a day at the beach for either of them, the 5 minute wait time before you can rinse seemed like a life time.I know because I could hear BowD crying and Bill trying hard not to laugh at him. I wasn't exactly having cake and ice cream either, but I think I had the easier job. While BowD was being subjected to the horrors of a bath, I was stripping the beds washing everything, mopping and vacuuming and of course spraying a flea treatment like there was no tomorrow. BowD got his long walk a treat, and it seemed like he was done with the fleas. 

   That lasted for about half a day, then boom the shock wore off and the buggers woke up and were torturing him once again. 

 This time we waited 3 days. We didn't want to poison BowD or make him sick, using too much flea medications, but we wanted BowD to be flea free, so after three days Bill bathed him again. I did the house again. The results were the same, BowD still had fleas. I am telling you lice is easier to deal with than fleas. At this point I was ready to give up and just move.

  It was back to the books and the internet researching how soon after a bath I could once again flea treat  him with a monthly dot treatment. Depending on the site or book the answers I got were different, with timings from as soon as he is dry to 72 hours. 

   It was before the final bath Bill ended up at the store, buying them out of the generic flea spray, telling people I was flipping the furniture and getting serious. By the time Bill got home anything I could pick up and carry was on the front porch, the couches were indeed upside down and the washing machine was whirring away as if it's life depended on it. 

  I don't know if it's  that the program works, or I was just too tired to care, but I didn't argue when Bill came in with the generic flea spray. I just took the four cans, read the directions and started spraying. A fogger couldn't have done a better job than I did,  indeed it looked like a fogger had gone off when I was done spraying. There was nothing in this house that didn't get treated. And still the fleas survived

 48 hours after his last bath, and my house was flipped upside down. I dotted BowD, this time treating him right at his tail base, against EVERYONE'S advice. Then sent him out for another long ride. 

  Again I treated this house stopping short of turning the furniture over. Still I sprayed like I was a fogger, I washed everything in the house from bedding to couch blankets and pillows. I swear I heard the washing machine cry, in defeat. With each twist of the barrel I am sure I heard the faint, " please no more"!  I vacuumed before I sprayed, then vacuumed again after I sprayed, spraying one last time after vacuuming just to be sure. I, like the washing machine was done, pleading, begging, "no more please."

I have read and been told that we have a new super strain of fleas that are much harder to get rid of. Sometimes taking as many as three maybe even four treatments to kill them completely. Fingers crossed that I have finally won this war.

  I started writing this on Sunday, that was the 48 hr mark and the day I dotted BowD where I felt the dots should have gone to begin with. I am happy to say, BowD has an itch here and there, but no fleas can be seen 2 full days later. Not with the eye, or with the flea comb. It took a month and a lot of determination but I believe the war may be over and BowD declared the winner. 

   Sometimes life is all about 4 day get aways, and sometimes life gives you fleas, either way it is always a journey I am happy to be on.

  Today with the house being so clean and organized( well sort of) and no meetings to attend, I enjoyed a true day off, my only duty was to get dinner together.

  Whats For Dinner

     It is an old time favorite and one Bill rarely asks for. I don't need a recipe, or directions really since it is one of the first dinners I learned to make, and stays in my memory like, well like Meatloaf sticks to your ribs.

  I don't measure and many times I don't use the same ingredients. It often depends whats in the house at the time I decide to make meatloaf.

   Tonight I was just getting dinner made to get it done and paying very little attention. As always when you aren't trying that is when you get something better than expected. Tonight was one of those dinners. Not great, not pretty but really very good.

  I used about a half pound ground beef, 1 medium bell pepper, 1/2 an onion and about 5 mushrooms all ruff chopped. Turkey gravy and an egg. I forgot to season it and in the end I didn't need to. I mixed the ingredients, placed the mixture in a loaf pan, made the little river in the center of the loaf and filled it with turkey gravy and BBQ sauce on top of that. 

  In the oven it went at 350 for 30 minutes, when it wasn't completely cooked I upped the heat to 400 and did another 30 minutes. My sweet potatoes could have used another 5 minutes or more, but the meatloaf was done to perfection. 

  I did my best with the photos of dinner, but let's be honest, just how pretty is meatloaf anyway. Looks didn't matter, that is for sure because the flavor was for a lack of a better word, beautiful.

  

  

  

Living Life

   

 It is the end of October and as always the month was jam packed with stuff. Rehearsals, board meetings, Witch walks, Bonfires and the best of all our Honeymoon get away.

   This year we had 4 days for the honeymoon.  Wanting to stay close and not spend much time traveling. Bill found a campground just far enough outside of Lancaster that we felt like we had left civilization behind, but not so far out we couldn't find a store and a restaurant if we wanted. 

Our cozy cabin for two was set on a small lake over looking working farm land. Behind us was the constant sound of horse pulled carriages and wagons. 

It was like stepping back in time in some ways without the hustle and bustle of modern day life. 

   I asked for a quiet, hassle free, stay in one place kind of get away and that is exactly what I got. We kept things as simple as possible. Cooking our meals over the fire, collecting eggs for breakfast from the local chickens, and quiet nights by the fire. In general just chilling.

 We went for a drive or walk everyday, enjoying the local habitats and parks. 

Our biggest outing was an honest to goodness hike. Round trip the hike was about a mile and a half, not all of it easy going either, but it was worth it. 

The over look view was amazing. We were able to see just about everything that was around us. The farms are so intriguing with how neat and organized they seem to be. Some of them were like carbon copies of one another, while others were as different as night and day. Yet they fit in perfectly. 

 We didn't do any tourist like things, or go into the city, hell we even came home without having bought a souvenir to mark the occasion. Our memories and my photos are just going to have to do. Happy 20th Anniversary to us! 

    Before we left for that wonderful weekend away, we actually went out after dark.  We went with friends to the biggest and for us the only bonfire of the year. It started out to be the windiest day of the month, but nature decided to play nice and when the  time came to light the fire the winds died down and the Fire Marshal gave the okay. Before anyone could change their minds about that, the fire was lit. With a big Whoosh that pile of brush and trees caught, lighting up the night sky and warming us right to our bones. It was just what the Dr ordered, relaxing fun and full of laughter. 

Life for me has been just as I like it to be, busy almost chaotic, and even though I do like it  that way I do need, the step back, slow down time I get from  little get aways  and adventures like the one we just had. Bill and BowD enjoy these retreats almost as much as me. I think?

  As I mentioned I have rehearsals, but this time I have one line to remember and at most 30 seconds on the stage. I didn't write this play so I am not directing the play and have very little responsibility towards it. Outside of showing up each day for 2 1/2 hour rehearsals I am pretty much responsible free.  

 With such an easy rehearsal schedule I had time for the other things I really wanted to do. Like the 2nd annual Witches Walk. This year there were more Witches, witching to the music. With a lot more children lurking in the trees, playing games, stealing candy, and playing tricks as they should be.( none that are pictured here for their protection)  While next year I hope to make this event even bigger and better. I have to say it was a grand time, and it brought nothing but smiles to everyone that came out for the fun.

All of the Witches photos were taken by friends of mine that are amazing behind the camera. Dean Martin and Daniel Slipp.

  I am hoping for gentle weather in November with lots of sunshine and color. I have a few walks planned out with my camera. I hate going alone and I really miss Jill at this time of the year. I miss her all the time, but now is the hiking  with your camera season, and there was never a better partner than Jill when it came to getting lost in the woods. We were the start of "Two blondes in the woods" jokes for sure. As much as I don't like going alone, I hate missing the opportunity more. Fingers crossed for a gentle November and peaceful trails.

                           Happy Halloween!

    May it be  SPOOKTACULAR , with lots of wonderful treats and no tricks.

    

The never Ending Journey

  In 19 days I will have 9 months sober. 

   What a difference 90 days can make. I truly didn't believe I would care or be excited about the 9 month mark. I was wrong.

   A few things have changed in the last 90 days to change my attitude. Small things, things most people wouldn't notice, but for me they are mile markers for sure. 

   Let's start with my belief that I wouldn't want to celebrate the 9 month marker for sobriety.

  I am almost as much ashamed of the marker as I am proud. I had 3 1/2 years sober under my belt and I just had to push the envelope. I tell people I just wanted a drink and nothing was bothering me, but really that wasn't true. I was an unhappy sober person. There wasn't a part of life that even thrilled me a little bit, except the chances I got to sneak a drink. So instead of saying and celebrating 4 1/2 yrs of sobriety, it is with tongue in cheek I admit I am 8 months sober quickly approaching the 9 month mile marker. This is why I didn't believe I would celebrate 9 months sober. Being proud of 9 months wasn't in my monthly planner, but neither was the subtle shift to actual honest happiness. 

At 6 months I stood up got my coin and made my little speech about how great it is to be sober and how happy I was. Most of my speech was true, I had some very happy days in that time, they were just few and far between.Working on yourself can be painful as well as back breaking time consuming work. Making it hard sometimes for the happy to shine through.

  So at 6 months I stood and said happy things, even if I didn't believe them all. I talked about my creator, and my belief that the creator has been there the entire time, I didn't talk about the anger I had, and still have with the creator, the confusion and the down right refusal to believe the creator will keep me sober. I kept that to myself and shared it in my IOP group.

       I don't pray, I do talk to the creator but I don't pray. I spent to much of my life praying, begging for help, for the pain to stop. Those prayers went unanswered for far too long for me to ever believe in a God that guides your every step.

    That being said I believe in a creator, I believe in right and wrong, good and evil, and the freedom of choice. I also believe it is my choices, not God or his neglect that led me to the life I have now. The bad, the good and the ugly, are all mine. The pain and shame I experienced at others hands was their choice and I WAS powerless to stop them. When I hear "God's will not mine" I have a boat load of questions. How do you decide what is his will and not yours?  Is it his will that a drunk or otherwise handicap person slams a car into a Mother and child leaving the child dead and the mother forever injured as well as heartbroken? Whose will was that? What good did that do? Oh, it got some poor fool to get sober because they finally hit rock bottom? Then if I stand back and look at this, it was God's will that the drunk got sober, and the young mother pay the price and  suffers the rest of her life. Nope I can not wrap my mind around a creator like that.

  If I have a higher power that effects my daily life, guiding my steps towards a happy and sober life. It is a group of people that are present in every sense of the word whenever I need them and even when I think I don't. 

There is a creator in my world, but that creator is too too busy controlling his elements to worry about the day to day lives of tiny little specks that are hardly even visible in this vast universe we traverse. As for the afterlife and my lack of complete faith. Well hell, I have my hands full maneuvering the life I am living right now. I can't be worrying about what I don't know, and what I hope I don't have to face for a few more decades, now that I am beginning to really understand what a happy life is.

    I am afraid to admit to being happy. No I don't want to be sad, or hold on to the darkness that has surrounded me for so long, actually that is what scares me. If I admit I am doing good and experiencing more happiness than not, I am terrified the universe in all it's humor will come along and take me out at the knees. I don't walk around moping and pouty faced all the time but I also don't go shouting from the roof tops that I am having the grandest day or that I seem to be well on my way to living my best life. What, fate and karma don't know won't hurt them.

The signs  of a changing life are there for anyone that cares to look. Some subtle, some  not as much, but, they are there none the less. For starters I cry less, a lot less. I can talk about subjects now without any of the drama, that use to have me on my knees in pain and tears, but even better, I don't seem to need to talk about those subjects anymore. I no longer am showing up at events and tuning out. If I am there, I am completely there, paying attention and taking an active part.  Honestly I now leave if I don't want to be there, or simply don't go if it is something I don't want to do. The over the top happy, the constant need to be doing, the need to be around people, to be accepted and to be needed every minute of the day, all of that is becoming less, comfortably less. It isn't as if I am giving anything up, it is as if I am becoming comfortable in my own skin, and leaving behind things that just don't fit anymore. 

  At 9 months, do I have all the answers? Absolutely not. Do I still struggle with wanting a drink? Absolutely. Is the fight against alcohol easier? Not always, but more often than not saying no is more satisfying than the thought of saying yes. Am I still depressed? Yes, just not as deeply or darkly. This, like alcohol will be a life long battle. One I hope I will always have the strength to fight. Am I satisfied with where I am on my journey to a sober happy life? Yes, yes I am. 

Over the Moon about Flowers

  

         It is still early in the summer season, but not the flower season. In fact I missed my chances at more than a few flowers that popped in the spring, but I have been on them since the sunflowers and cone flowers popped. 

     One thing I did get to see and catch with my camera was a turtle laying eggs. I never went back to see if I could catch them hatching, but then again I was lucky just to see this part of natures miracle happening, so theres that.

           It has been moon season too. Awesome skies and Moons bigger than life itself. I have mostly let them go by un photographed as well this year, I mean how many moon photos can you take. Turns out at least one more. I had the chance to join a group at the beach to watch the Strawberry Moon come up, and I took it.

        While we waited for the moon, and it took it's sweet ole time raising too. I didn't let my camera sit idle. There was a sunset, ruff surf, water sprays and surfers to keep me busy.

           Let's not forget the birds, it wouldn't be a shore trip if there wasn't at least one SeaGull photo. There are a few shots here, and I have to tell you catching all the different breeds of the bird is fun, a damn good way to distract yourself while waiting for the real show.

      I am over the moon about flowers, but I have to admit I do love the moon just as much.

 I hope you have a great day and an even better week.