Boat Love Act 1 scene 2

   As the curtains open the ships announcer is heard saying, Ladies and Gentlemen the main lounge is now open for our 1st night aboard meet and greet cocktail party. All decks are welcome to enjoy the festivities.

Tables are set up in a colorfully lit room ( not brightly lit, more like a night club) With brightly colored table cloths, and a candle in the center of each table. Gathered around the tables and standing about the room are a few cast members with no lines. In the front of the stage are PB&J, Julie Mcoy, Adam Bricker,  Annette, Alan Price All dressed casual cocktail,(no jeans) Soft music is being played in the corner, everyone has a plate, and glass and napkin in hand or in front of them. 

 Paul ( the room at large) Well hello all, I might as well break the ice and be the first to speak. I am Paul and this pretty lady standing here next to me is Betty. We are Paul and Betty James, but I like to call us PB&J, ( snort chuckle) get it PB&J peanut butter and Jel......

 Betty( not amused but not upset) Oh Paul enough already, are you going to tell that stale ole joke to everyone you meet? Pretty soon your gonna turn it into a toast.( Head down, but smiling as she raises her eyes slightly to see if anyone caught the puns)

Julie ( Laughing outright) I think Mr P you just got out joked.

 Paul ( amused, proud of his wife) Yes, I do believe you are right. Well done Mrs B ( with a quick smile at Julie) well done indeed.

Alan Price ( Open shirt and gold chains, looking completely lost) Joke, what joke.( everyone looks at him with disbelief some hide a laugh behind their hands) (Alan looking at everyone even more confused) No really what joke?

 Betty, Yes I am Betty James and you all are ( looking around at the small group gathered.) ( each introduces themselves, starting with Alan and Julie) Betty- (Smiling) Well it is a pleasure to meet all of you. This is my first time on a ship, my first big vacation actually. I am so excited I just don't know what to expect.

 Julie- Oh cruising is a wonderful way to see the world and relax while you do it. Although that isn't exactly true for this cruise is it. It truly is a unique cruise, I have never heard of one like this and I have been on hundreds of cruises.

Annette ( Pretending to be bored, and slightly disbelieving) Really 100's of cruises? 

 Julie ( Chuckle, visible not heard) Yes, 100's actually it may be in the 1000's.

 Annette ( Snarky) Yeah not likely, how could anyone as young as you been on that many cruises?

 Julie ( slight smile) Thank you, how very nice of you to say, but I am not that young. I have to say both you and Mrs B are wearing some gorgeous pieces of Jewelry. They shimmer so brightly when the light hits them.

 Annette ( Looking down to see what she is wearing) Oh yes, I have a good deal of jewels but this set is one of my favorites. The stones are very rare, it is almost impossible to find Star Sapphires as clear and defined as these. They are so old and so beautiful even if they didn't have the diamonds surrounding it.

Betty( touching her ears, a little embarrassed after hearing about the sapphires) Oh these, Mr P got these for me, on our 30th anniversary. I just love the color red and these Rubies are the biggest reddest stones I ever saw. I just love them, I wear them way more often than I should, but 

 Paul, Now now, lets not bore everyone with your jewelry wish list, and believe you me I see that coming plain as day, Mrs B ( Laughs and pulls Betty into a loving hug)

 Adam ( having paid close attention to the conversation about jewels, quietly chimes in) Mrs B those rubies are indeed stunning. The workmanship is first class, it is no wonder they sparkle like they do. As a jeweler I do love fine workmanship. So Mr Price what do you do for a living? I notice you also enjoy gold jewelry, but please don't let me get started on jewels and gold or I will never get off the subject, and I am here to relax and enjoy after all.

Alan- Yeah I don't do a whole lot of anything. Trust fund baby you know. I spend most of my time soaking up the sun and entertaining the ladies, if you know what I mean.( said as he looks all three ladies up and down)

  Annette ( moving away from Alan) I believe I need another drink, and a refill on the snacks, I think I will just go a head and take care of that.

  Julie ( Looking uncomfortable cringing away from Alan) I think I will join you. I plan to never have an empty glass in my hands the entire 7 days.

 (As the 2 walk off the rest of the group watches them go, Franklin comes forward from one of the tables , and Laura Holt sweeps in from off stage, David and Maddie sitting very closely stand up and join the group)

  Maddie- I just can't stop gawking, everything is so beautiful, and I can't believe how much room there is in our room. I always imagined the rooms would be much smaller.

 Laura- Oh darling thats because this is a deluxe luxury ship. Almost one of a kind, bigger and grander than anything ever made before, kind of like the Titanic. Oh and this is it's Maiden voyage, come to think of it, it is the Captains maiden solo voyage too.

 David ( good naturedly annoyed) Now don't be saying things like that you will have poor Maddie here worrying the entire week about nothing. 

Franklin- Oh is this your first cruise?

Maddie & David- This is our first anything. ( they look at each other and laugh.)

 David- This is our first major vacation. We were busy getting the kid raised and the house paid off. We have been saving for as long as I can remember dreaming of the day we could just get up and go and not worry a lick about money and how much things cost. 

Maddie- yeah as soon as we read Beyond Luxury the ultimate Vacation, we were all in.

 Alan- Theres a dance tonight in the main ball room is anyone planning on going? ( Eyeing Laura the entire time he's talking.)

 Franklin- Yes I am going, I understand the music is going to be amazing. I hear the D jay knows how to read a room and plays exactly the right tunes to get the place jumping. David and Maddie will you 2 be going tonight? 

 Maddie- Oh yes, I have new dress I am just dying to wear, and tonight is the perfect chance. Ah who am I kidding everything I have on this cruise is new, and I am dying to wear all of it.

  ( The group laughs politely but not with any real interest.)

  I do wish I had the jewelry some of these ladies have with them, to wear with all my new stuff.

  Betty- You and me both, I have a wish list longer then both our legs put together. I have a new dress too, so I am sure we will be two of the prettiest ladies at the dance. Our husbands are gonna have to beat all the guys off with a stick ( Both ladies laugh)

Laura, I am planning on making an appearance, it does sound like the best thing going tonight. 

 Franklin- Oh that is nice, I hope you will honor me with a dance maybe even 2 if I don't step on yours toes.

 Laura- Yes, that would be nice, I do enjoy a good dance partner, are you a good dancer Frank?

  Franklin- Please call me Franklin, I prefer to be called Franklin. I am a fair dancer, at least I have never broken anybodies toes that I know of.

 Alan- I am going to the dance as well, I am sure I will be happy to honor you with a dance maybe even 2. ( Leering with a smile)

 Laura- ( turning her head in a low voice) That is an honor I can live without.  ( turning back to the group) How about you Adam are you going to be dancing the night away? 

 Adam- No, No I don't think so. I think a good book on my balcony with a nice cigar and Bourbon is more my speed tonight.

 Betty- If I want to be ready for the dance on time I guess we should go get dinner before we get dressed, don't you think Paul? 

Paul- Yes dear.

Maddie- I agree, come on David, besides I am starving and my head is spinning from this little ole drink.

 David- Come along dear, let's get you fed, I can't have you starving on me now, can I.

Laura- I need to go and get Mother for dinner, and then I believe a nap is in my future before I dance the night away.

( everyone but Adam and Alan walk off in different directions)

Alan- Well Adam ole boy, you enjoy that book, and I do thank you for leaving all them pretty girls to a professional.

  Adam ( walking off as he speaks) No worries ole man I am sure the ladies will forgive me.

 Curtains?

 Disco balls spinning in the colorful light, tables placed around the edge of a dance floor. The D jay is playing dance music, dancers are already up and moving.

 Isaac ( talking to Leni) I didn't realize the ship would be constantly swaying like this. I wasn't able to eat dinner, and my stomach has been flip flopping since we left port.

Leni( distracted, looking at her phone, shaking it trying to get reception) Don't they have a pill for that or something?

Isaac ( clutching his tummy, covering his mouth, runs off stage)

Laura ( standing at a table, looking around the room) Oh Mother, isn't this just delightful. Early shabby chic wouldn't you say?

 Abigail ( sitting looking bored) Shabby bad taste you mean. Whoever designed this room needs to be fired, walked off the plank or something just as horrid, to match the horridness of this room. You are not gonna find your next husband here my dear, I promise you that. If I were you I would just put those jewels of yours in the safe and stop fishing, cause there isn't a thing worth keeping on this ship.

 Laura ( Frustrated ) Oh Mother really, do you have to be such a kill joy? You never know, there just might be some precious metal under all this tarnish. Besides I don't wear my jewels to catch a man, I wear them to prove I have caught a man at least once. I just didn't realize it was a catch and release program.

Abigail ( laughing) Thats my girl always hopeful. 

 ( At a table off to the side but near the front of the stage, Shelia is sitting by herself looking around.)

 Burl- ( Nervous, timid, walks to Shelia's table.) Hi, my name is Burl, Burl Smith. You wouldn't like to dance would you?

 Shelia- Oh, HELLO, I am Shelia, Shelia Evens. I am not much of a dancer , but yeah sure, I would love to.

 Jennifer- Oh Johnathan this music is just so, so ....... so loud. I like the Djays choices but does he have to be so loud.

Johnathan- I don't know Jenn, I kinda like it, reminds me of younger days when the speakers almost vibrated off the stage.

 Jennifer- Yeah but that was in a room 3 times bigger than this. My goodness I have seen school lunch rooms bigger than this. Is this really luxury?

 Johnathan- Now Jenn be nice.

PB&J enter and walk over to Johnathan and Jennifer, Betty looks frustrated and a bit worried.

  Jennifer- Hello you two. Whats the matter Betty you look like you have something serious on your mind. I mean even more serious than this silly looking room.

 Betty- Oh I am sure it is nothing, but I can't find my ruby earrings. I am normally so careful with them, but when I went to get them out of their box they weren't there. I looked all over the room but I can't seem to find them. 

 Paul- Don't worry love, I am sure they will turn up. We will find them when we get back in the room, and I asked our steward to get someone to check the pipes in the sink, just in case you laid them on the counter and they fell in. Or maybe they fell on the floor from your bed stand.

 Betty- Paul, I never ever leave those laying around. I know how much they cost and how long you saved to get them for me, I would never be that careless with them. Never!

Jennifer- Oh dear, I do understand, it is always so upsetting when I put something where it really doesn't go and then later I can't find it and can't remember where I put it. 

Betty- ( a little agitated) I didn't put them anywhere but in their little box, and that box is always in my top drawer, no matter where we go.

Johnathan- Well hopefully when you go back to the room you will find them. I hope you won't be so distracted you don't have fun tonight.

Betty-(looking around the room for the first time) Well dang! it looks like someone threw up every bad high school dance to ever happen and it all landed on this ship. Can the music be any louder, wait don't answer that.

Johnathan- Just like our younger days right, bad decor, loud music, and cheap booze. Come on let's go have some fun. 

Paul- Yeah lets go get a table and some of that cheap booze, maybe if I drink enough you won't notice that I can't dance.

  ( the 4 head into the dance area)

Curtain closes

  Day 3 of the cruise. It is morning and people are coming into the dinning area for the breakfast buffet. 

  Betty and Paul can be heard having a heated conversation.

Betty- But Paul I always put the earrings in the little lock box when I am not wearing them. I don't understand where they could have gotten to. I know they aren't on the floor, and they didn't find them in the drain trap or pipes. Someone had to have taken them.

 Paul- Betty how would someone get them without breaking the lock? The salesman swore there is no way to break that lock. You must have set them down somewhere and you just don't remember.

Betty ( angrier now) NO PAUL, I didn't lay them down somewhere and forget. Those earrings are the best present I have ever gotten. I am not drunk or senile, my earrings are missing and someone took them.

Paul- ( Somewhat resigned) I know Betty....I know. I was just hoping that somehow they were just misplaced and that they would turn up. If that isn't the case, then I don't like the only answer I have left in my mind.

Betty- Oh Paul do we really believe they were stolen? What do we do, who do we tell? 

 ( Walking up to the table with a plate and cup in her hand)

Annette- Who stole what?

P,B&J- Oh! It's nothing.

Betty- I can't find my Ruby earrings. Paul thinks I misplaced them and I say no I didn't, so if I am right, and I am always right. The only other answer left is that someone took them.

Paul- Betty you just can't go around saying someone stole your earrings.

Betty- Oh Yes I can.

Annette- Oh pleases would you 2 just stop. It is funny though I can't find the sapphire set I was wearing the other night. Hadn't given it much thought, really, I figured I put them in the wrong box and that they would turn up. Now I guess I will have to give my jewelry a closer look.

Adam( Joining the table with breakfast in hand) Good morning all. Another fabulous looking day, perfect for deck sitting and reading a book. ( looking around the table) My my what a bunch of long faces for such a perfect day. Don't tell me you are bored like so many others on this ship. I could never get bored with all this sunshine and blue skies. Seriously whats up?

Betty- My Ruby earrings have been missing for days now and many many searches have turned up nothing, I am afraid they may have been stolen, and now that Annette says her sapphires are missing I am even more sure and afraid.

 Adam- I truly hope that isn't the case, because those rubies were stunning, so stunning that you could see the quality clearly without a loop. I am sure they are more than just stunning, and that they are valued extremely high in price. I assume you have them insured? 

Paul- Yes they are insured and their value is very high. I had them custom made for Betty so they are also one of a kind, irreplaceable. 

Annette- My set was insured as well thank goodness.

( The Captain is walking across the deck, slowing down to eavesdrop on the conversation, but not stopping)

Adam- How long ago did you get them insured? I don't know that many insurance companies that insure paste. Well made paste to be sure, but if you are talking about the sapphires I saw you wearing the other night, I can say for sure they were not real stones and the metal around them was gold plated.

Annette- You sir are mistaken, I am sure. I buy my jewels from the finest jewelers in the finest cities, there is no way my jewels are fake.

Adam( slight smile, and a shoulder shrug) I am sure your are right, I did not mean to offend. ( turning his attention to PB&J) You should notify security, let your insurance company know, and then enjoy the rest of the cruise. There is nothing you can do past that and it would be a shame to lose your vacation too. 

( Annette, storms off as the threesome continues to talk quietly at their table.)

 Isaac-( walks across the stage holding his stomach moaning) 

Paul- Morning Isaac, how about a little breakfast to start the day. The eggs over easy are perfect this morning, just the right amount of runny. ( a sheepish smile that is almost a laugh)

 Isaac- ( Moans louder, covers his mouth and runs off stage.)

Betty- Paul why did you do that. You can be so mean sometimes. That poor man was absolutely green.

Paul- awe Betty I was just being friendly and having a little fun with the guy. It is just a little sea sickness after all.

Leni-(Walks over to the table and slumps glumily into a chair) That is it I give up, 3 days on this boat and I can't find a single internet hot spot, not even 1 bar to get a call out. ( holds her phone up for the table to see, then abruptly gets up and leaves the table)

Adam- I don't think I should tell her, I have been making calls without a problem. I think you had to purchase that package before you boarded the ship though.

Paul-(laughing) Yeah I wouldn't tell her that, not if you want to keep your phone.

Shelia- ( walks into the room, looks around and then joins the group) Good morning everyone, Have you all been enjoying your vacations? It took me a few days to rest up after that dance. I probably didn't need days to rest, but the pool and the sunshine have been to much to resist.

Betty- I don't know maybe I am getting old, but that DJay was way to loud, and his constant talking over the music.

Paul- And what was with the dancing lessons? I mean you're a DJay not a dance instructor, just play the music and let us figure it out.

Johnathan and Jennifer ( approach the table together, speaking even before reaching the group) Yeah!

Jennifer- Yeah it wasn't the best djay I have ever heard, but we still had fun didn't we. 

Johnathan- Well we know you did Jenn, you never came off the dance floor. I don't know how you keep going like that. I can never keep up with you.

Jennifer- Awe thank you, that is so sweet of you to say, but it's no big secret your old and I'm not.

Shelia(laughing) Well tonight is the Captains dinner, I am looking forward to that.

Paul- Yeah me too, but this afternoon they have a stand up comedian over in the Skylight bar, I think that will be a fun time.

 Jennifer- Out by the top deck pool they have a few singers preforming during lunch. Theres a girls trio I hear is real good, and few other groups too. I am looking forward to that. Lunch on the pools edge with live music to entertain us.

  Johnathan- And don't forget there is Karaoke this evening in the Irish pub. You know I wanna go belt a few out while I enjoy a pint or two.

  Betty- Well it sounds like we have another busy day ahead of us, I think I am going to head to my room and get myself ready. ( Betty and Paul stand to leave the table) 

Jennifer- Oh Betty, did you find your earrings? 

Betty ( turning back to the group) Nope, no I didn't and we have been looking for days. Now Annette says her sapphires are missing too.

Jennifer- That is disappointing. I was pulling together my outfit for dinner tonight, and the bracelet I was planning on wearing seems to be missing. It isn't as spectacular as your earrings or Annette's sapphires but it was a bit on the pricey side for me, not to mention super cute, all gold and pearls and those purple stones, Amethyst I think they are.

Paul- Adam told us to notify security and our insurance company, he said for now that is all we can do. ( Slight amused laugh) He also made Annette really mad, when he told her, her sapphires are simply, well made paste.

Betty- Yeah she didn't take that well at all. Now I am more than convinced my earrings were stolen.

  Everyone stands and talking as they exit.

  Curtain closes

 Front Curtain Opens.  

 David - Abigail right? How are you? You remember my wife Maddie yes?

Maddie- It is nice to see you, are you going to see the comedian?

Abigail- Yes I thought I might check it out, Laura says I need to get out of the room and enjoy some of the activities. I have been enjoying a book and the lovely sunshine on my deck the past few days, but Laura is right it is always nice to get out among  people.

 Maddie-( looking around the room ) Where is Laura, is she going to be joining you for the show? 

Abigail- No she is having a mid morning nap, and then she wants to have lunch by the pool. She heard the trio is very good and she is a sunbather at heart. I am willing to bet she will be at Karaoke, she is a ham to say the least. 

Maddie(laughing) Well it sounds like she has her day filled up. I hope we see her at the Captains dinner.

David- We'll see her at karaoke for sure. I plan on being there. I am looking forward to crooning for my sweet wife. 

Maddie (groans, places her hand to her forehead) Oh no I see a headache coming on. ( Laughs, looks at David and strokes his arm)

  (Back curtain opens, The comedian is standing facing the audience (stage?) Various people sitting in chairs facing the comedian. Abigail, Maddie, and David walk in and find seats.)

    The comedian does his/her act. 10 minutes or less.( bad jokes)

 Back curtain closes.

  Burl, Adam, Alan, Annette, and Shelia all walk on to the stage from different directions

  Alan-  (Swim trunks, white crew socks, and loafers, wife beater) Well, well ladies aren't you looking all kinds of tasty in you bathing suits. I know what I'd like to have for lunch.( Licking his fingers and stroking his eyebrow)

(Annette, and Shelia look down shuffle their feet and pull there cover ups even tighter) 

 Adam- Come on Alan be gentlemen why don't ya.

Burl- I guess you two ladies are heading to the pool for lunch and the singers performing there.

 Shelia- Yes that is where I am headed, I hear the 3 ladies singing are very good. Plus people say the burgers at the pool are to die for and I am dying for a burger.

Annette- I won't be eating a burger, but I am looking forward to the show, and a little relaxation in the sun. There is a float and a cocktail with my name on it and I will be spending my afternoon right there.

 Alan- I may decide not to go to karaoke if the view is as good as I think it will be in the pool.

 Annette( gives him a withering look and stalks away, towards the back curtain that is opening)

(People sitting around in suits like at a pool, eating what looks like lunch. On the make shift stage, the singing acts are singing. 2 or 3 groups 10 minutes)

 Exiting the pool area after lunch, Franklin, Betty, Paul, Abigail, Jennifer and Johnathan are walking together talking.

 Franklin- Well that was nice. Refreshing really.

 Abigail- Yes, I enjoyed all the groups. They all had different styles thats for sure.

 Johnathan- I really liked.       The best

 Laura( walking onto the stage with purpose heading straight for her Mom) Mom, did you move the emeralds somewhere?

 Abigail( looking confused at her daughter) No, Laura they should be in the case in the safe. 

 Laura( Frustrated) Well the case is in the safe but it is empty, and besides me you are the only one with the combination. Are you sure you didn't lay them some where and forget to put them away. 

Betty( sarcastically) And where have I heard that before?

 Paul- Betty shhh

Abigail Yes! I am sure I put them in the case and then closed the safe door. I know because the door wouldn't close at first, there was something stuck in the lock, I had to pick it out and close the door again.

Franklin- You are the what 4th person to be missing jewelry?

 Laura- What? Oh yes I think so, I am not. sure.

 Betty- Actually 3rd person, Annette found her Sapphires, or what she thought were sapphires. Funny she was surprised to find them on the floor. Said something about always hanging her cloths and putting her jewelry away. I believe her too, she just doesn't seem the type to leave $500.00 blouses on the floor crumpled up, or expensive jewels either, even if she didn't know they were paste.

 Franklin- Paste? How do you know they were paste?

Adam( walking up to the group just in time to hear Franklin) Do you mean the Sapphires Annette was wearing? 

 Franklin- Yes. 

 Adam- I told her, Betty and Paul they were paste, because they are. Just as Betty's earrings are perfectly cut and stunning with or without a loop, Annette's Sapphires were just as obviously paste. 

 Franklin- When did the sapphires show up on the floor, before or after you told her they looked like paste.

 Betty- After I think, she certainly didn't seem to know they were paste when she told us they were missing. Why?

  Franklin- Just curious.

Everyone stands around looking uncomfortable at each other. 

 Johnathan- Well I guess you had better report it to the security here on the ship and get a report for your insurance company. Oh and hope it shows up before we end our trip.

Laura- I guess you're right. Well Mother shall we go find the security office.

Johnathan- Good luck.

Paul- Maybe we'll see you at karaoke. 

 Curtains close

 Front curtain opens

   The group is standing all together, the men in Hawaiian shirts, and the women in casual dresses

Leni( runs on to stage, from the right, phone in hand)

Isaac ( runs on to stage from the left)

 Isaac- Has anyone seen the nurse?

 Leni ( ignoring and talking over Isaac, still holding the phone up looking for a signal.) I still can't get a signal, I have been everywhere on the ship with no luck. Do you think my phone could be infected with some bad spam?

Isaac( grabbing his stomach and covering his mouth, he gags and runs off stage) 

( All heads turn to watch Isaac go)

Leni( confused) Was it something I said.

   ( Laughter)

Johnathan- ( rubbing his hands together) Okay gang who wants to go get their sing on?

Jennifer- Please promise me you won't be singing " Lil Red Riding Hood" tonight. You get so carried away with that song.

Betty-( Laughing) That goes for you too Paul, no Iron Butterfly, you hear me. 

 Julie- Iron Butterfly? What on earth is that.

 Paul, Johnathan- Are you kidding?

 Jennifer- Oh you two, let her be not everyone is into the early original heavy metal. In-A Gadda- da-Vida isn't everyones favorite song you know.

 Julie- Wow Alan those are some very serious gold chains. How many do you have, if I can ask?

Alan( snapping to attention, Stroking his eyebrow, as he slides up to Julie) Honey, you can come to my cabin and we can have some fun counting them, (wink) if you know what I mean. 

 Julie- ( Cringing) Oh that's okay, I was just curious.(a thought and then a sly smile) I was just wondering how many  of those chains it would take to cover all that chest hair.

( Laughter hidden behind hands and backs tuned)

Alan( completely unaware of the slight or the laughter) I am sure I have that many and more. Yep I am worth my weight in gold.

(David and Maddie Join the group)

David- Looks like it will be a long line for the Karaoke list. 

Johnathan- Yeah, looks like we all got a secret wish to be a star. 

Maddie- Oh no not me, I just came for the laughs, I promise when David sings you will be rolling on on the floor. 

David( giving a hurt withering look at his wife) Oh come on now, I'm not that bad. I mean how hard is it to sing Row row your boat. ( Quickly turning and looking at the group) Any one car to make it a round? Come on it will be fun a real group effort. ( Can't hold the laughter back any longer)

  Maddie( Looks horrified, and the group is whole heartily laughing)

David( Hugging his wife to him, still laughing) Don't worry honey, I promise no Row row your boat rounds. You do have to admit it would be fun.

Shelia( Still laughing slightly) I would have done it with you. It does sound kind of fun. Certainly unexpected.

Laura- Yes it does like it would be a lark for sure, and goodness knows I could use a little fun right about now.

Abigail- Now now Laura, we've reported them missing and called the insurance company. That is all we can do for now, so stop stewing and lets have a drinkie poo and as Mr Hart says, Lets get our sing on.

 Laura ( Laughing wraps her arm over her mom's shoulder and turn towards the back curtain)

 Back curtain opens.  

 Karaoke happens. 2 or 3 songs at most, singers to be decided.

 As everyone is leaving Karaoke

Maddie- Julie do you know what you are wearing to dinner tonight?

 Julie- I am not sure I am going to the dinner. The dress I was planing on wearing has a big ole stain on it, and of all things I forgot my shoes.

Maddie- Oh my is that all? This ship is like a floating city, it has everything, including some of the best shops I have ever seen.

David- Believe you me Maddie knows shops and shopping, she lives for it.

Maddie- Oh David, Really though you should treat yourself.  A new dress, new shoes,( looking at her watch) You even have time to get your hair and nails done if you want. 

 Laura- I think I am heading to the spa and then the salon myself. A little relaxation and pampering sounds perfect.

 Alan- I am headed to my room for a nap. If any of you ladies would like to rock me to sleep, I wouldn't say no. ( Wiggles the eyebrows)

 No one says a word, everyone just turns and walks away in different directions.

   Curtains close.

Front curtain opens

 Shelia, Abigail, Franklin, PB&J, and Adam are gathered in front of the closed back curtain.

 Leni (comes from left stage, phone in hand looking frustrated) I swear, something is  

Isaac( coming on stage behind Leni, still looking sick, just in time to hear)

Leni- beginning to smell fishy, I mean look just look at this phone no lines just as flat as a pancake, I can't even get Candy Crush on here to smash some of those gooey jelly squares.

 Isaac- Moans ( grabs mouth and tummy and runs off stage.)

  Leni- ( looking up from her phone just as Isaac run off) Really that man needs to see someone about that. His gagging is getting annoying.( walking off as she says the last line)

( The group turns and watches her go)

Betty- Shelia that is a beautiful necklace. 

Abigail- Yes very unusual, I don't believe I have ever seen anything like it before. It looks very old.

Shelia- Thank you, I love this piece. It has been handed down from Mother to daughter for centuries.

Abigail- well it is absolutely beautiful.

Alan( joins the group looking down)

Franklin- Whats up Alan, you don't seem to be you usual "charming" self?

Alan- I can't find the chains I plained to wear tonight. I can find all my every day gold, but the ones I keep for formal occasions are no where to be found.

Betty- Missing jewelry is becoming an epidemic around here.

 Franklin- when did you last see your chains?

Alan- When I packed them in their lock case before we boarded. I just don't understand how I misplaced them when I never took them out of the case. The case is there but not my gold.

Adam- I wonder if security is really aware of how much jewelry has gone missing. I assume Alan you have the chains insured.

Alan- I guess, I really don't know, I have lawyers and accountants for all that stuff. I will notify them as soon as I can, and I already went to security, not they were much help. 

 Paul- Yes I noticed when we reported the earrings missing they really weren't all that interested.

Franklin- That is all you can do for now. I am sure once we land you will be able to get more help.

Betty- Yeah after someone walks off this ship with my rubies.

Abigail- And my Emeralds

Alan- And my gold

Franklin- It is so odd that Annette's Sapphires went missing only to return after she was told they were fake.

Paul- Yes all true, and not a dang thing we can do about it. I am hungry, more importantly my glass seems to be empty. Shall we go in and find our seats.

 The back curtain opens

  (A long table is set for a formal dinner. The captain will sit directly to the center of the table, Shelia will be in the seat next to the captain on the left. On the other side of Shelia is Burl. 

   Already seated will be David and Maddie, as well as Johnathan and Jennifer. Moving around the room is Laura, Burl, and Annette. Seeing Adam coming into the room Annette heads straight for him.)

Annette- Well Adam do you think these diamonds are paste too? Or maybe sea glass.

Adam- No no it is very clear those are the real deal. Extremely good quality too. If we really do have a thief on board they would have done better stealing necklace.

Annette- My Sapphires weren't stolen. I found them on the floor in my suite. ( spoken almost as if to herself) Such an odd thing really, I never leave my jewelry out.

Adam- When we land I would take those sapphires to a different jeweler and see what they have to say.

( Adam and Annette head for the table and look for their seats.)

 ( Julie comes into the room and waves at Maddie, as she walks over to the table where Maddie is sitting)

Julie- Thank you so much for suggesting a shopping and spa spree. You are so right this ship is a floating city. The shopping is the best. I even found a bracelet almost like the one I lost. ( holding out her arm) Isn't it just the sweetest.

Maddie (standing up) You look like a million bucks. You got this dress here on the ship? I bet it cost a million bucks.

Julie- ( Laughing a little) Thank you, I feel like a million bucks. The dress was pricey, but not as much as that.

 (Maddie sits back down and Maddie finds her seat)

  ( A bell rings signaling dinner is about to be served, the Captain walks in just as the bell stops ringing.)

Captain( walks to her seat, standing behind it looking left to right and back again.) Good Evening everyone. It is a pleasure to be sharing dinner with you tonight. I hope you will enjoy what the chef's have prepared for you. On the menu tonight you find a wonderful melody of exotic dishes picked just for this occasion. This is where I am suppose to make some sort of speech, but honestly I am hungry so I am going to make this short. It is a pleasure to be captaining this ship for you, I hope the ship is everything you wanted it to be. Thank all so much for joining me. Now let's enjoy the feast.

Adam- I am glad she is a better sailor than she is a speech maker, at least I hope she is. 

Laura- We haven't hit any icebergs so theres that. (chuckle)

Abigail- Oh Laura, you are incorrigible.

 Burl- ( talking to Shelia) Wow how did I get so lucky to be seated next to you?

 Shelia- I don't know but I am happy that you did. It is always nice talking with you. Look at all this food. It all looks so good.

Burl- It is nice talking to you too, normally I am so nervous talking to people, but you, you are so easy to talk to. ( Burl leans in some what blocking Shelia fro audience view.) Is that an edible flower on your plate.

Captain- ( leaning in finishing blocking off view of Shelia) Yes that is called Nasturtium. It is used......

(Remove Shelia's necklace)

(Isaac comes running across the stage a hospital gown flapping holding up his pants)

Nurse- ( Running after Isaac with BIG SYRINGE ) Come back come back I want to give you an erection. 

(Both run off stage) ( the diners watch in stunned disbelief, and then return to dinner and their conversations)

Shelia( Reaching up to her neck lets out the loudest blood curddling scream ever.) My necklace, it's gone.

Burl- It must be around here somewhere, I mean you just had it on. It mush have just fallen off.

Shelia-(upset) No it didn't just fall off, someone took it off. I felt a hand brush across my neck.

Betty- I believe you dear, trust me I do. (hugging Shelia)

( Burl comes towards Shelia to comfort her) Shelia- You stay away from me. You, you took my necklace, you had your hands on the back of my chair when that crazy man came running through here. You did it. Give me back my necklace.

Burl( stunned at the accusation) I did no such thing and the Captain was leaning over you as well.

Shelia- Don't be silly why would a Captain want my necklace?

Franklin- Annette, do you remember was Burl around when Adam told you that your Sapphires were fake?

Annette- You mean allegedly fake, and no I don't believe he was. At least I don't remember seeing him.

Franklin- What about the Captain?

 Captain- Excuse me, how dare you question my where about's, I am the Captain and my duties take me all over this ship.

Franklin- As well as give you keys to everything on this ship, 

 Captain- Yes that is true but so what, what does that prove. Shouldn't you be letting the police ask these questions? 

Franklin- Fair point Captain Stubbing, let me introduce myself. I am Captain Franklin Botherstone, in the international robbery division. I have been following a jewelry thief that has been targeting cruise ships mostly this companies line of ships. Now Annette, was the Captain near you when you found out that the Sapphires, "may" be fake?

 Annette( thinks about it for a minute) Actually yes, we were all sitting together for breakfast when Adam told me he thought my Sapphires were fake.

 Franklin- Was the Captain close enough to hear you?

 Annette- You really didn't have to be all that close. I was yelling at Adam when he told me the stones might be paste. So yes she would have heard me.

 Franklin-Thank you. Captain, I have a search warrant allowing me to search anywhere I think stolen jewels might be. I do believe we will start in your cabin.

 Betty- Captain( both captains answer) I mean Captain Bootherstone Did you find my earrings? Will I get them back?

 Franklin- It might take some time but you will get them back, I promise.

Curtain closes

Front curtain opens, everyone departs the ship from back curtains, that are partially closed. Everyone will come off talking exchanging numbers hugging promising to call.

  The captain will come out in cuffs with everyone stopping what they are doing to watch.

Leni is last to come out to the front stage Phone in hand it begins to ring.

Curtain closes

Notes, 

 Funnier ending for leni is needed.

pirating laws are in effect on the high seas, I want to use that. 

 

 

  

   

Boat Love

  Going on a cruise to no where, never stopping, the party never ending. 

   Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the cruise of all cruises. Prepare to enjoy 7 days of sun and fun and smooth sailing 125 miles out at sea. 

Mr and Mrs newly retired- Paul and Betty James From the mid-west, upper middle class overly friendly, sometimes too much, always together

Mother, Daughter-Abigail & Laura Holt, a few marriages between them, wealthy and showy about it, loud

Mr and Mrs always traveling- Jennifer and Jonathan Hart, Know it alls, in everyones business, always there. Appear to be well off.

Mr and Mrs every day joe smoes David & Maddie Hayes - Middle class Saved all their lives to do this, kids grown, grandbabies, friendly, over shares

Miss newly single- Annette, Daddy's money rich, spoiled  cold, aloof, mean

Miss business lady- Leni Martek, forced to vacation

Miss mousey- Julie McCoy, Shy, wealthy, self made  

Miss always happy, Shelia Evans bubbly not a wall flower

Mr rich dick Franklin Bootherstone, self evident ( PI or FBI 

Mr romantic- Alan Price swarmy oily Open shirts hairy chest lots of gold, beer belly and tight pants 

Mr sports guy- Isaac Washington loud and active (sea sick)

Mr shy guy-  Burl Smith wall flower, stutters, likes to dance

Mr Perfect- Adam Bricker a Confident, stand offish, Jewelry and gem stone expert.

Captain, Vikki Stubing Female, confident all business, friendly.

cruise director, Andy Travis male energetic fit

cabin boy- Henry Beesmyer 

musical entertainment DJ, Venus Fly Trap, Singers,? Musicians?

bartender Ron Harris, ( Wanna be actor)

Concierge Phil Fish Obtains things, has much knowledge of the ship and all it offers

Host, Arthur Dietrich  Handles room assignments, stands behind a podium desk in the lobby directing

Nurse, Frau Blucher, 

Story plot- Strangers embark on what everyone is jokingly calling the 3 hour cruise. This is the ships maiden cruise, and the captains as well, with a limited guest list and crew. What ever could go wrong. The comedy of errors the ensues are sure to amuse and entertain audiences of all ages. A comedy with a little twist just to keep everyone guessing.

   The ship is scheduled to make no stops in any ports, the idea being it is a floating isle of fun and entertainment. The Luxury ship boasts that is has everything a person could want or need for 7 days. Nothing left to chance, not the food, accommodations, or entertainment right down to the simplest card game. Even the placement of lounging chairs and settes was thought out to the littlest detail for optimum relaxing in the sun or shade no matter the time of day. 

  For this captain nothing can go wrong, not even the littlest thing. She is no normal captain, she is a she and this is her very first solo voyage and in her mind she can not make a mistake. This pressure makes her appear much more unfriendly than she really is. 

  Mr and Mrs always traveling are gonna be the captains first in a long line of trials in patience and ingenuity. From broken bones to missing jewelry, nothing in any of the captains training prepared her for a ship full of people with no where to go but stir crazy.

Act1

Scene 1

  Boarding

Everyone is gathered near the gang plank talking excitedly as they wait for the gate to open and boarding again. Snippets of conversation can be heard.

 We've never been on a vacation let alone a ship before, oh look how beautiful

Oh this has to be our 100th cruise, at least. If you need to know anything just ask us.

I hope they've got a good running course or a place to do laps.

I hope they got some pretty ladies making dinner even better, know what I mean.

     The boarding bell rings, and the gang plank is opened. The passengers eagerly but orderly and politely as they began their embarkation.

  Standing on the Quarter deck looking sharp and well turned out in her uniform, the Captain waits to greet her passengers.

1st up the gangway is Mr and Mrs newly retired. 

Captain- " Hello and welcome to my ship and your home for the next 7 days. My name is Captain Vicki Stubing. And you are?"

 Reaching out grabbing the captains hand to shake over enthusiastically, Mr Newly retired-" Well hello little lady, I am Paul, and this here little darling is my beautiful wife Betty. We are Paul and Betty James, I like to call us the PB&J, (snort snort loud laugh, as he roughly nudges the Captain) Get it Captain PB&J peanut butter and jelly.

  Mrs Newly Retired-( somewhat nervously, with a slight nervous laugh) " Oh Paul stop it. You tell that silly joke everywhere we go, and to date no one has laughed, actually most people look a little annoyed" ( shaking her head ever so slightly and smiling as she reaches out a hand to greet the Captain) " Please don't mind him Paul is a big ole softee that thinks he is a comedian. If he weren't retired I would tell him not to quit his day job. ( a nervous laugh and a quick glance in Pauls direction) Paul just retired and now we are going to travel and see the world, all those places we dreamed of but at first couldn't afford and then didn't have time for because of jobs and kids and mortgages. This is our first cruise and we are already......

 Paul- ( cutting betty off, smiling but a little annoying at the same time) " Now now Betty you don't want to bore the Captain with all that nonsense, I am sure she can tell by the 3 cameras, and the 12 bags you have that you are new to traveling.

Captain- Not boring at all, I enjoy hearing what brings people onto my ship. I didn't notice the cameras and the bags but I did notice those beautiful earrings. They are absolutely stunning, I don't think I have ever seen rubies quite that large before.

Mrs Newly Retired- ( gushing with pride) " Yes Paul gave them to me for our 30th anniversary,  and this cruise. He is such a generous man." 

Paul- ( Looking a little uncomfortable) "Yes yes, thats all fine and good, but we need to move along, there is a long line behind us and we are taking up all the captains time. "

Captain- ( Smiling) It was very nice to meet you both and I am sure we will see each other again. 

Mr and Mrs Newly move off towards the host and their rooms.

  Next in line is Miss Mousey, she been standing looking down at her shoes, swaying slightly side to side, trying to be invisible.  

 With a bright smile hand extended leaning forward ever so slightly, the captain is the first to speak. 

Captain- " Hello, you must be Julie McCoy, you are one of the lucky guest to enjoy the Sky Class suite and package. I truly hope you have the best time while you are with us. Is this your first cruise?"

Julie ( Soft spoken, almost reluctant.) "No I have been on many cruises, it is my first time traveling in such luxury. Normally my accomadations were much more reasonable." 

Captain- " Oh than I am sure you are going to love this. Seven days of pampering and primping better than any 5 star hotel offers anywhere. You'll have your own staff to help you with your every need no matter how big or small."

Julie- I really really don't want all that attention. I have very little clothing with me and pretty much plan to spend my time in my suite reading and napping and enjoying the unlimited room service. I am afraid that the staff is going to be very bored this week."

Captain- ( smiling but only slightly with a little concern showing on her face) " I hope you actually find some activities aboard ship that you might find fun and worth trying while you are with us, but if you find that you do wish to be undisturbed in your suite your staff will see to it that you have everything you need to do just that. The concierge will be happy to help you plan your week exactly as you would like it."

Julie- "Thank you, I appreciate it."

Captain- " You are more than welcome, I do look forward to seeing you again."

  ( Julie moves off towards concierge holding a place card with her name on it.)

David ( pulling a suite case while juggling 2 shoulder bags, gently nudges his wife forward, looking at the Captain directly he says)" Good day Captain, I'm David and this is my wife Maddie." ( nudging a distracted Maddie again) " Maddie do you want to stop gawking long enough to say hello to the captain?"

Maddie-( Startled out of her amazement at the size and beauty of the ship, slightly embarrassed ) " Huh, oh oh sorry, this ship is just so amazing, it doesn't matter which way you look there is something absolutely stunning to see. Just gorgeous." ( Holding out her hand to the Captain) " Hi I'm Maddie as my husband just told you. It is so exciting to be here. We have saved all our lives for this. I was beginning to think it would never happen. First we had the kids, and then we had jobs, then our own business, and David he fell and hurt his......

 David-(interrupting but gently with a slight laugh and smile) " Now now Maddie we don't need to give our entire life history to this poor lady before she has even had a chance to say hello."

 Captain- ( laughs amused and completely enjoying the married couples exchange.) " Hello, it is very nice to meet you. I am Captain Vikki Stubing. Maddie I am sure you will find that this cruise was worth the wait. There is so much to see and do on this ship I am willing to bet you will not stop being amazed for even a minute this entire week. How long have you 2 been married?"

David- " Coming up on 40 years."

Maddie- "No David we have been married 45 years this month. Remember that is why we decided now would be the perfect time for a cruise? I swear I am going to have our wedding date tattooed on your eye lids."

David- " Maddie, I was just kidding I know how long we've been married. I'd do it all over again too if you asked me again."

Maddie- ( With a fake pout, and a pushed out lip, and sheepish smile) "I never asked you to merry me."

David-( laughing) "Oh yes you did, as I recall, you even got down on your knee. Oh don't mind us Captain we are just 2 old fools in love."

Captain- ( Also laughing) Well you 2 have a wonderful time. If there is anything My crew or I can do to help make you vacation the best ever please just let us know. I see you are in a Sea suites, and I am sure you are going to love it, with the beautiful view of the ocean. And very comfy beds I am told. Oh and I see you are at my table a few times this week. I look forward to seeing you again.

David & Maddie- ( at the same time) Thank you, we are sure this week will be a week to remember.

 ( David & Maddie and all the luggage move off towards the host and their rooms)

Annette ( Arms crossed, foot tapping, sighing loudly every so often. She has been nudging closer and closer the entire time the Haye's were talking with the Captain. The stack of luggage next to her is almost as tall as her.) " Well it's about time. I have been standing in this line forevvvveR, what could thoooose people have to say that could be that interesting. You really should have a VIP line for people like me so we don't have to wait in all this"( waving her hand towards the line of those still waiting to be checked in.) " I mean really!"

 Captain- ( Tongue in cheek, trying to but not succeeding to hide her annoyance.) You must be Annette. It is a pleasure to have you sailing with us. I am sorry that you were annoyed and had to wait. I will indeed pass your suggestion on to the home office, I am sure they will be happy to hear them. You are in the Star Suite, and from the looks of it you one of only a few guest staying in that part of the ship, giving you the ultimate privacy. As I am sure you know as a star suite guest the sky is the limit and all amenities this ship has to offer are yours to enjoy for the week. Please don't hesitate to ask for anything you may want or need."

 Annette- ( rude, dismissive, bored) Yeah yeah, it better be the best, or my Daddy will hear about it. Daddy wants me to have only the best, and making me wait wasn't a good start. Also not a good start my luggage is still sitting here. I would think by now my staff would have been her for it and had it in my suite and unpacked."( with one eyebrow raised and the foot tapping again) Orrrrr don't I have my own staff?"

Captain( Fully annoyed and working hard to hide it)

" Of course Miss, I mean Annette, you do have your own personal staff, your belongings will be taken care of immediately." ( snapping her finger to get the cabin boys attention, she motions for the boy to get the offending luggage on its way to the suite.) ( Cabin boy runs in and begins moving the stack of luggage, jiggling the top case, almost but not dropping it off the top.)

 Annette ( watching closely sees the case about to fall and yells) " Watch it you clumsy fool, that is my jewels, that case is worth more than you will make in 3 life times."

Captain-( angry but remaining calm speaking in a voice that lets the cabin boy know she understands and it is okay.)"Henry, Please be a little more careful. I am sure you will get everything to Annette's suit without a scratch and you will get it all organized by the time Annette comes to her room. Thank you."

Annette- "I would have been a little more stern with that person, but what ever as long as my room is completely ready when I get there I won't complain."

Captain-( under her breath) "That would nice."

Annette- "EXXXXXcusssse me!

Captain- " Oh I was just saying I am sure everything will be very nice. I am thinking after all that standing and waiting around you had to do you must be thirsty. I have it on good authority that in the VIP lounge there is a lovely caviar and champagne bar with comfy chairs and a trio of ladies that sing sweeter than angels. Just give your name at the door and the host will lead you to your own private table right up front where you can see and be seen."

 Annette- " That sounds like it might be okay, I am always about anything VIP, so show me the way."

 Captain( stepping sideways to let Annette Pass, sweeping her arm in a right this way gesture) " You will be in good hands with Arthur, and please enjoy your time with us." 

   (Annette walks toward the host, the captain takes a moment to breath before greeting the next guest, rubbing her forehead and straightening her uniform.)

 Captain( Looking up and smiling extends her hand) " Hello and welcome aboard, who do I have the pleasure of addressing?"

 Jennifer- (perky way to friendly) " Jennifer and Jonathan Hart at your service" 

 Jonathan-( Smiles waves and stands contently letting the wife jabber on.)

 Jennifer- " Wow that was some piece of work wasn't she, how do you deal with people like that, all rude and pushy, acting like their money makes them some kind of royalty. Who is she any way? Whats the Star suite, do you have to be star to be in one? I just don't know how you do it, me I would lose my temper so fast, I would be fired, no doubt on the first day, heck the first hour. I mean you got people snapping at you, yelling at you, making demands of you, and you got people who.....

Jonathan( cutting Jennifer off with a smile and a little hug) "never stop talking. You've asked a dozen questions and didn't let the lady answer a single one."

Jennifer- ( blushing) I am sorry I do get carried away sometimes. Jonathan calls me his jabber bee, he says I talk more than a bee buzzes. He loves me anyway."

Captain- ( Smiling, relaxed, somewhat entertained by the exchange and grateful for the reprieve from making conversation.) " I am Captain Vikki Stubing, welcome aboard we are so happy to have you sailing with us. I understand you are both seasoned sailers and have been on a good many cruises. I do hope this maiden voyage  meets and in some ways exceeds your expectations. I know I will do my level best to give you a cruise you never forget."

Jonathan(speaking quickly before his wife does) " We are so excited to be on this cruise, we have never been on a maiden voyage before and we have never done a cruise that doesn't dock for seven days. A cruise to no where, who could resist something as intriguing as that?

 Captain- ( Looking down at her clip board) Oh I see you are in the Sky suites. That is wonderful, we have a few guest staying on that deck as well but not many so you will enjoy a little bit of privacy and in between all the social event available on the ship. Any thing you want just ask the concierge and he will be happy to help you. You also have a small staff that will keep your suite clean and well stocked.You are also at my table for diner once this week, I do look forward to that. Until then please enjoy your time with us. 

   ( The Harts move off towards the host, and their rooms.) 

 (The Captain turning back to the line of guest still waiting to be greeted hides a slight sigh and smiles big for the next guests walking up to her.) Oh and you must be Abigail and Laura Holt. ( extending her hand as she speaks) I have to say there must be a mistake, I have you listed as Mother and Daughter on my ships log, but that can't be right, you are sisters, yes? ( no one takes the captains hand, so she drops it)

Abigail & Laura ( Together giggle, speaking in unison) Oh no that isn't a mistake, we get that all the time. 

 Abigail- ( with pride and a bit too loudly)We have good genes, that is for sure, and it sure doesn't hurt to have 5 rich ex husbands and a plastic surgeon on speed dial.

Laura- ( just as loud, unaware of those close by staring) Oh Mother stop it now. All those exes are nothing to brag about, ya know. And nobody cares how rich they were, except you.

Abigail- ( Looking at her daughter with a hint of disgust) Now don't you be lecturing me honey, it seems to me when it comes to exes you have more than a few and I don't recall any of them being poor. That set of Emeralds on your ears and neck didn't just grow there over night you know.

( Both Mother and Daughter, looking sheepish return their attention to the captain) 

Abigail-( reaching her hand out) We are so sorry captain, we just get so distracted with each other sometimes we forget our manners.  Yes I am Abigail Holt and this is my daughter Laura.

Captain- ( accepting the offered hand in a quick friendly shake, smiling brightly holding back the laugh that is dying to escape.) That is perfectly okay. Welcome aboard, we are so happy to have the two of you with us. I am sure it is going to be a wonderful voyage and all the more interesting having you both on the ship with us. I see you are in the Star Suites, that deck has the best views and your bedroom doors open up to a perfect balcony breakfast nook and the most spectacular views of the rising sun. These are some of our finest suites, I know you will enjoy them, very much.

Laura- I am sure we will, although we don't plan on being in them much, no not much at all. 

Captain- Well that is wonderful, you will find all sorts of activities and events throughout the entire ship, and as a Star Class passenger almost no door is closed to you. Just let your staff know your every want and need and they will do their very best to accommodate you. 

Abigail- Well my daughter may be out ship hopping, but me I plan to stay in the suite the entire week, I am not sure I will step one foot out my cabin door.

Captain- However you decide to spend your time with us I am sure it will be everything you hoped for.( turning to the side and gesturing with her arm) Please step this way and your butler will meet you at the VIP lounge and escort you to your suites when you are ready.

(Mother and daughter, step away happily chatting to one another) 

 Captain ( shifting from foot to foot, waiting a little impatiently with an indulgent smile, waiting to speak)

 Leni( head down face in the phone, a slight scrowl, without looking up begins to speak) Are you kidding me, there is no WIFI, how am I suppose to keep in contact, I am going to need....( looking up at the captain) I am going to need WIFI that is for sure, I can't go 7 days without it. My office will need to contact me send me important emails and drafts. Damn I will never understand why Hank made me take this vacation, he knows they need me. ( as if noticing the captain for the first time) Oh hello, you must be Captain Stubbing, I'm( offering her hand at the same time) Leni Martek, here on a forced vacation. Just point me to my room and tell me how to connect to the WIFI and I will be happily on my way.

Captain ( taken aback by the force and abruptness) Oh My, yes I am the Captain, and it is a pleasure to meet you. A forced vacation, well that explains the directions I have received. I am assuming your boss booked this package for you? 

 Leni( looking concerned) Yes yes he did, and what directions?

 Captain( hiding a smile, and straightening her back as she ready's for the struggle about to happen) Well your boss booked you into the sea suite package that does not include WIFI. You have many many wonderful relaxing ammenities but WIFI is not one of them. Also your boss has put a stay on all your credit cards so you can't purchase WIFI. We can't do this, but your boss also asked us to remove the phone from you. You are however booked for an evening of fun and dinning and dancing as a guest of my table. I am sure we will have fabulous time.

 Leni ( Getting angrier with every word spoken by the captain, can't help but explode as the captain utters the last words) FABULOUS TIME, DINNIG, DANCING, WHO ON GODS GREEN EARTH HAS TIME FOR THAT?( The captain is motioning for her to calm down and lower her voice, people near are staring) I am not here to have fun, I don't want to have fun. No one should be having fun, and that is what they will do while I am gone, they will have fun. No no no there is work to do, I need that WIFI. I need my phone.

Captain- I am sure it will be alright, I am sure when you get back there will be all the work you could ever hope for waiting for you. In the mean time you can relax take in some music, read a book, enjoy a little sunshine, and ( with head turned to the side in an almost whisper) take a zanax, (back to facing her) and before you know it the cruise will be over.

Leni- I will not be relaxing that is for sure, I will just find another way to get my work done.

Captain(smiling in defeat) Well as you see fit, if you step this way, one of our stewards will help you find your room.

  ( bouncing on the balls of his feet, clicking his fingers, Isaac suddenly realizing it is his turn, springs forward, almost falling into the Captain.) Ooffff, Oh my goodness, my apologies, I was just trying to get in a few leg stretches while I was waiting, I guess I was pulled a little too tight. I am Isaac Washington, and you must be the lovely Captain Stubbing. My my you do look fit, you must work out a  lot. 

 Captain- Oh wow Mr Washington, you do have away of taking ones breath away. ( extending her hand) Yes I am Captain Vikki Stubbing, and thank you. 

 Isaac- Please call me Isaac, and you are most welcome. 

 Captain- Well Isaac welcome aboard, I see here you are in a Sea suite, and I am sure you will be happy to know that there is a state of the art gym on that deck, along with an olympic size pool, sauna and a hot tub to soak in after a good work out. While you don't have a personal trainer with this package, there are classes and workouts that you are free to join whenever you would like. Just let any staff member know what you would like and they will be happy to help you. Please enjoy your time with us.

 Isaac- ( Walking away and speaking at the same time.) Thank you, I am sure it will be delightful spending 7 days floating on the calm sunny seas.

 Captain-  ( raised eyebrow, amused) Hello and welcome aboard the ..... According to my logs here you are Burl Smith, is that right?

 Burl ( Head down, feet dragging, an awe shucks attitude, moves forward, he answers slowly, shyly, almost uncertainly) Ye....s yes I am Burl Smith, I.... it's a pleasure to meet you Captain. I I I have ba ba been looking forward to this voyage for mmmonths. I never do things like this, I think about it all the time but when push comes to shove I end up sitting it out.

 Captain- I am happy you decided to join us, do you mind my asking what got you to not sit this one out?

  Burl- The music! I love to dance and I heard one of the bands playing on this ship is Wicked Cricket, and I just love them. 7 days of music and dancing with my favorite band, ( realizing how much he has just said, he drops his head and scuffs his shoes, before looking back up embarrassed)  

 Captain- Yes they are a good band. It sounds like you have an enjoyable week planned. If you need any help with those plans, the staff on the Sea deck will be glad to assist you.

 Burl -Thank you, I think I am all set. ( extending his hand, shakes quickly and walks off in the wrong direction) 

 Captain- ( calling out quietly) Mr Smith, Mr Smith,( Burl turns to look at the captain) if you go this way(captain points towards the bar) a steward will help you find your room. ( Burl walks off)

 Captain( Trying hard not to laugh out loud, turns to greet the next guest)

  Captain( still smiling, and holding back the laughter) Hello and welcome to the ship, you must be ( a quick look at her log) Adam Bricker, you aren't a doctor by any chance are you? ( holding out her hand and lightly giggling at the same time.) I am sorry I just couldn't resists. Welcome aboard Mr Bricker, I do hope you will enjoy your time with us.

  Adam ( smiling, enjoying the conversation a bit more than he should) Thank you, I am verrrry happy to be here now that I have meet the Captain( still holding the hand she had offered) No I am not a doctor, but I get that question a lot. Normally I say no my Mother was a big fan. That usually confuses them since the Dr and I are the same age. ( The captain gives a real laugh, she totally gets the joke.)

Captain- ( through the laughter) I see you have a sky suite, that is a wonderful deck, the suites are amazing and the your staff is there 24/7 to help assure you have a fabulous time. Your luggage  has already been taken to your suite, and if you requested it the staff will have unpacked for you as well. ( looking down) Oh I see the staff forgot a bag let me call someone right now. What an unusual looking case, is it old?

 Adam( Reaching down and picking up the case, holding it close to his chest) No no you don't need to call anyone, I will carry this to my room myself. Yes the case is very old and I would never be able to replace it if it were to get lost. It is very important to my work, as well as very old.

  Captain- Oh what line of work are you in Mr Bricker?

 Adam- Oh I am a jeweler, I have a line of stores around the country, but my home base is on South Street. I do my best creating there. I just love working with gold.

 Captain- That sounds fascinating. I just love wearing gold. I am sure you create some very beautiful pieces.  I do hope you enjoy your time on the ship, please let the staff know of any needs you may have. ( Captain turns to allow Adam to pass) 

  Franklin Bootherstone ( advances quickly and begins speaking before actually reaching the Captain.) Hello I'm Franklin( hesitate, stammer a little) Bootherstone of Philadelphia, Jewelers row, diamonds you know. Yes yes very big in diamonds.

  Captain- Good Evening Mr Bootherstone, it is a pleasure to have you on board. I understand you will be needing a safe during your stay with us. Well let me assure you the safe on the Star deck is one of the best, state of the art all the way. Nothing but the absolute finest for our guest. 

 Franklin- My father is Mr Boothersteine I mean Bootherston, no no, stone Bootherstone, why couldn't we have an easier last name. ( Not to self, no one gets the name right even Franklin) Anyway I am Franklin, not Frank, or Frankie, or even Fran, I am Franklin.

 Captain- Very well Franklin, I see that your baggage has arrived at your suite and your staff is ready for your arrival. ( Laughing only slightly) I hope you remembered the key for those cuffs, I hate for you to be cuffed to that case all weekend long.

  Franklin- Yes that would be a bit embarrassing now wouldn't it. Once I get to my suite I will be only to happy to get this case of my wrist. It is extremely heavy.

Captain- My my my just what a girl likes to hear about a case full of precious stones. Well Franklin I do hope you enjoy you voyage with us, and find everything satisfactory.

 Franklin- I am sure I will, just looking around at all this Grade A prime....., well I am sure I will.

Captain(less then impressed now) If you will just step this way to the VIP lounge you butler will be along shortly to escort you to your suite.(turning sideways sweeping her arm to show the way)

Captain ( Turning back to the line of guest with a soft sigh and a discreet peek at her watch) Hello, and you must be ( looking at the log) Shelia Evans, welcome aboard. Is this your first time sailing? 

 Shelia-( smiling big hand out, fairly dancing in excitement, speaking quickly as she shakes, holding fast to the captains hand) Hi, Hello, yes yes I am Shelia. Heavens no this isn't my first boat ride, I just love a cruise all the fresh sea air, the sun shine, the dancing, drinking, and honey the men. 

 Captain- ( Out and out laughing as she tries to remove her hand from the steel grip) Yes to all those things and then some. I am so happy to have you aboard, I can tell already that you are going to be the life of the party. I see here you paid a little extra for dinner at the Captains table, how nice, that is one dinner I am sure I am going to enjoy. 

Shelia( blushing, reaching up and touching the necklace she is wearing) Oh how nice of you to say Captain, I hope I get seated next to a nice single gentleman, and not someones boring drunk ole husband.

Captain( Laughing) Oh that would be horrid wouldn't it. I will see to it you are seated near me and a charming SINGLE man. (Laughing, reaching out to touch the necklace) What an interesting piece, it looks very very old, is it a family heirloom?

  Shelia ( stepping back to politely remove the captains hand) Yes, it is from the civil war era, my Great great great Grandfather brought it home from the war, and it has been in my family ever since passed down Mother to daughter. Mother just gave it to me this past month on my birthday.

 Captain- How interesting, I imagine it is very valuable, just for the history alone.

 Shelia- Yes it is, to my family at least.

 Captain( looking at the log) I see you are on the Sea deck, those are some very nice suite on that deck, and I believe there are some fun activities on that deck as well for singles.

 Shelia( without waiting or anymore words walks off, with a wave and a smile.)

Captain( spends 30 seconds smiling, shaking her head, watching Shelia walk away, then turns to greet the last guest in line.) Mr Price,( looks him up and down and keeps her hand at her side) welcome aboard. 

 Alan- Thank you ( Leans in as if for a hug and a cheek kiss, almost falling when the captain side steps him) Just call me Alan or Al or Al baby, just don't call me late, haha.haha.haha.ha/ha, if you know what I mean.

Captain- Okay Alan, I see you are on the sea deck, and I am sure you will enjoy that deck very much. So much so I am sure you will never want to leave it. 

  Alan- I am sure the suite and deck will be perfect, but I am more than sure I won't see much of it, no siree, I am going to be where ever the action is, and I did pay for a dinner at the Captains table, something I am totally looking forward too. Maybe I will get lucky and get seated between you and the lovely lady that was just before me.

 Captain- You never know Alan, you never know. Now if you will step this way, a steward will show you the way to your suite and help you get settled.

( The captain, motions for Alan to head in the direction of the lobby/bar and then heads off in a different direction, Curtain closes.)

 

  

I don't know!

  I cry a lot. I hide it most of the time, smile pretty for everyone to see, but I don't feel it. I dance big because thats what I normally would do, but I don't feel it. I laugh but I don't feel it. I am surrounded with friends, but I don't feel it. I don't scream, but I feel it, I don't stop breathing but I feel it, I don't kick and punch everything and anything but I feel it, I don't stop living but I feel it. 

   How do you live through this? If my child ever did that to me I don't think I could live. It hurts we know but just try not to dwell on it. It will be okay, you'll get over this. All things I have heard when I even dare to mention the pain I am in. I also hear, It's okay you go ahead and cry. I understand your soul has just been crushed. At least there are some in my life that understand, or at least try to. Still I know no one actually understands, how could they it didn't happen to them.

  To one day wake up and find that your child doesn't love you and probably hasn't for a very long time, is to say the least a very big shock. The bigger shock is when you realize this didn't just happen all of a sudden but over time, and you saw it happening. That is why I feel so much shame, not all the BS things my son and his wife say about me and the past, but that I saw this coming and I denied, ignored, simply didn't want to believe my son would betray me like that, and I did nothing to prevent it.

  I accepted the excuses, the lack of answers to phone calls and text. I accepted the sarcasm and insults disguised as jokes. I accepted the neglect. I accepted it and made excuses for it. 

  At holidays when people would ask about my son and his family, I would smile big and talk with pride of all the things I knew he was doing,( things I was only aware of because of social media) and things he had accomplished, and then I would make excuses of why he wasn't there, or why I wouldn't get together with him until months after the holidays were over. I would never mention that he was busy celebrating the holidays with friends and family that didn't include me. I kept the hurt inside because to say anything meant I was playing the victim, everyone said so. 

  I knew, I felt it, big as rock hanging around my neck. Little things that I ignored or laughed off, told me exactly what I didn't want to hear. Things like, meeting in the parking lot of a local mall to pick up my granddaughter to babysit, because my house was too far for my son to drive. My Granddaughter telling me I really wasn't her Grandmama, I am just a nice old lady that takes care of her, and her daddy said she should call me that to be nice. Asking if we could celebrate Christmas and my Birthday together so he would only have to come to my house once a year. Borrowing money and never paying it back, not even trying. So many other times where his lack of caring was just so clear, and I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to see it and even if I had I wouldn't believe what my eyes are telling me. Funny no one else saw it either, had it been a man not my son treating me like this everyone myself included would have seen it believed it and we certainly wouldn't have ignored it. 

  When he said Mom don't come drop Easter baskets off for the kids,( on the curb) I have been exposed to Covid, pretending concern for me and my age. I knew it was BS but I gave him the space and threw the Easter Baskets in the trash. 

  When he had me come to his Birthday party 2 hours before it actually started, bring food for the party, and then leave with my Granddaughter before the actual party, I did speak up I did ask why I was being excluded. I knew the answer already I just didn't want to know. I also just gave my son more ammo to later on use as proof that I am a crazy toxic jealous old lady that ruined his life.

 I could continue on with example after example that I should have seen this coming, but writing just this little bit has me angry and crying and angry. It didn't matter what I did I was losing, that was or is the writing on the wall, it didn't matter, his mind was made up that I am a villain in our story and always will be.

  So now I fight inside myself, I try not to dwell on it, but it wakes from a sound sleep, it actually stops me from breathing, drops me to my knees, no not to pray but because the pain is unbearable. I want to scream and never stop screaming, but I can't, I want to punch something anything, but I can't, I want to forget, but I can't. I can't forget, I can't just go on, I can't let go, and I can't stop dwelling on it. My first thought in the morning and my last thought at night is my son, my family, my very reason for being. So I fight inside myself everyday. 

There are so many voices trying to be heard in my head, the loudest being " it is all your fault, you did something wrong, you should be ashamed of yourself." Only to be followed by the ever faithful " why me what did I do wrong?" Then there are the call him text him, just reach out to him voices, that I never listen to because he doesn't want me to do that, and that is the other voice, the voice so afraid of ruining any chance of getting my family back it makes me too scared to move. I even have a bully voice that tells my scared voice to go sit down because I am never getting my family back. I hate that voice but I suspect that voice is the only one telling the truth. And then comes the practical voice, this one tells me don't do anything to burn bridges, and make sure to leave a door open but it is time to move on. Again another voice I suspect is telling the truth, only it isn't telling me how to move on.

   You see this isn't some guy that isn't good for me that is hurting me, it is my SON. I can't let go and walk away. I can't brush my hands off and say enough of that and just move on. It is impossible to just let go, to forget, to not feel, it is just impossible not to love them anyway.

    The conflict inside of me is gut wrenching and exhausting. Is this all my fault? Will I make it worse if I stay silent? Should I just bang on his door and have it out with him? Should I just give up? I did my job didn't I ? And so much more, my mind just won't stop, as soon as I focus on something else and find a moments peace, bam there it is again screaming at me, always screaming the same thing over and over again. This is your fault, you are a failure.

  People, my friends talk about and share on social media the things and time they spend with the kids and grandkids, and all I hear in my head is "you are a loser, a failure, God my heart hurts." If I do happen to say anything out loud everyone gets quiet and drops their heads not even looking at me until the moment passes. I hear it and feel it loud and clear their silent blame, the question they don't ask out loud, what did you do wrong? Their embarrassment for me. So I do try not to say anything ( I haven't been very good at that lately) I just put my head down in shame and let the moment pass. 

  One person said and then stopped themselves mid sentence that they didn't know how they could live if that happened to them. Honestly I don't know how I do either. Ending all this is never far from my mind that is the truth, but when I say my prayers I thank the lord for allowing me to live another day, and I realize everyday is another day to hope.