Boat Love

  Going on a cruise to no where, never stopping, the party never ending. 

   Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the cruise of all cruises. Prepare to enjoy 7 days of sun and fun and smooth sailing 125 miles out at sea. 

Mr and Mrs newly retired- Paul and Betty James From the mid-west, upper middle class overly friendly, sometimes too much, always together

Mother, Daughter-Abigail & Laura Holt, a few marriages between them, wealthy and showy about it, loud

Mr and Mrs always traveling- Jennifer and Jonathan Hart, Know it alls, in everyones business, always there. Appear to be well off.

Mr and Mrs every day joe smoes David & Maddie Hayes - Middle class Saved all their lives to do this, kids grown, grandbabies, friendly, over shares

Miss newly single- Annette, Daddy's money rich, spoiled  cold, aloof, mean

Miss business lady- Leni Martek, forced to vacation

Miss mousey- Julie McCoy, Shy, wealthy, self made  

Miss always happy, Shelia Evans bubbly not a wall flower

Mr rich dick Franklin Bootherstone, self evident ( PI or FBI 

Mr romantic- Alan Price swarmy oily Open shirts hairy chest lots of gold, beer belly and tight pants 

Mr sports guy- Isaac Washington loud and active (sea sick)

Mr shy guy-  Burl Smith wall flower, stutters, likes to dance

Mr Perfect- Adam Bricker a Confident, stand offish, Jewelry and gem stone expert.

Captain, Vikki Stubing Female, confident all business, friendly.

cruise director, Andy Travis male energetic fit

cabin boy- Henry Beesmyer 

musical entertainment DJ, Venus Fly Trap, Singers,? Musicians?

bartender Ron Harris, ( Wanna be actor)

Concierge Phil Fish Obtains things, has much knowledge of the ship and all it offers

Host, Arthur Dietrich  Handles room assignments, stands behind a podium desk in the lobby directing

Nurse, Frau Blucher, 

Story plot- Strangers embark on what everyone is jokingly calling the 3 hour cruise. This is the ships maiden cruise, and the captains as well, with a limited guest list and crew. What ever could go wrong. The comedy of errors the ensues are sure to amuse and entertain audiences of all ages. A comedy with a little twist just to keep everyone guessing.

   The ship is scheduled to make no stops in any ports, the idea being it is a floating isle of fun and entertainment. The Luxury ship boasts that is has everything a person could want or need for 7 days. Nothing left to chance, not the food, accommodations, or entertainment right down to the simplest card game. Even the placement of lounging chairs and settes was thought out to the littlest detail for optimum relaxing in the sun or shade no matter the time of day. 

  For this captain nothing can go wrong, not even the littlest thing. She is no normal captain, she is a she and this is her very first solo voyage and in her mind she can not make a mistake. This pressure makes her appear much more unfriendly than she really is. 

  Mr and Mrs always traveling are gonna be the captains first in a long line of trials in patience and ingenuity. From broken bones to missing jewelry, nothing in any of the captains training prepared her for a ship full of people with no where to go but stir crazy.

Act1

Scene 1

  Boarding

Everyone is gathered near the gang plank talking excitedly as they wait for the gate to open and boarding again. Snippets of conversation can be heard.

 We've never been on a vacation let alone a ship before, oh look how beautiful

Oh this has to be our 100th cruise, at least. If you need to know anything just ask us.

I hope they've got a good running course or a place to do laps.

I hope they got some pretty ladies making dinner even better, know what I mean.

     The boarding bell rings, and the gang plank is opened. The passengers eagerly but orderly and politely as they began their embarkation.

  Standing on the Quarter deck looking sharp and well turned out in her uniform, the Captain waits to greet her passengers.

1st up the gangway is Mr and Mrs newly retired. 

Captain- " Hello and welcome to my ship and your home for the next 7 days. My name is Captain Vicki Stubing. And you are?"

 Reaching out grabbing the captains hand to shake over enthusiastically, Mr Newly retired-" Well hello little lady, I am Paul, and this here little darling is my beautiful wife Betty. We are Paul and Betty James, I like to call us the PB&J, (snort snort loud laugh, as he roughly nudges the Captain) Get it Captain PB&J peanut butter and jelly.

  Mrs Newly Retired-( somewhat nervously, with a slight nervous laugh) " Oh Paul stop it. You tell that silly joke everywhere we go, and to date no one has laughed, actually most people look a little annoyed" ( shaking her head ever so slightly and smiling as she reaches out a hand to greet the Captain) " Please don't mind him Paul is a big ole softee that thinks he is a comedian. If he weren't retired I would tell him not to quit his day job. ( a nervous laugh and a quick glance in Pauls direction) Paul just retired and now we are going to travel and see the world, all those places we dreamed of but at first couldn't afford and then didn't have time for because of jobs and kids and mortgages. This is our first cruise and we are already......

 Paul- ( cutting betty off, smiling but a little annoying at the same time) " Now now Betty you don't want to bore the Captain with all that nonsense, I am sure she can tell by the 3 cameras, and the 12 bags you have that you are new to traveling.

Captain- Not boring at all, I enjoy hearing what brings people onto my ship. I didn't notice the cameras and the bags but I did notice those beautiful earrings. They are absolutely stunning, I don't think I have ever seen rubies quite that large before.

Mrs Newly Retired- ( gushing with pride) " Yes Paul gave them to me for our 30th anniversary,  and this cruise. He is such a generous man." 

Paul- ( Looking a little uncomfortable) "Yes yes, thats all fine and good, but we need to move along, there is a long line behind us and we are taking up all the captains time. "

Captain- ( Smiling) It was very nice to meet you both and I am sure we will see each other again. 

Mr and Mrs Newly move off towards the host and their rooms.

  Next in line is Miss Mousey, she been standing looking down at her shoes, swaying slightly side to side, trying to be invisible.  

 With a bright smile hand extended leaning forward ever so slightly, the captain is the first to speak. 

Captain- " Hello, you must be Julie McCoy, you are one of the lucky guest to enjoy the Sky Class suite and package. I truly hope you have the best time while you are with us. Is this your first cruise?"

Julie ( Soft spoken, almost reluctant.) "No I have been on many cruises, it is my first time traveling in such luxury. Normally my accomadations were much more reasonable." 

Captain- " Oh than I am sure you are going to love this. Seven days of pampering and primping better than any 5 star hotel offers anywhere. You'll have your own staff to help you with your every need no matter how big or small."

Julie- I really really don't want all that attention. I have very little clothing with me and pretty much plan to spend my time in my suite reading and napping and enjoying the unlimited room service. I am afraid that the staff is going to be very bored this week."

Captain- ( smiling but only slightly with a little concern showing on her face) " I hope you actually find some activities aboard ship that you might find fun and worth trying while you are with us, but if you find that you do wish to be undisturbed in your suite your staff will see to it that you have everything you need to do just that. The concierge will be happy to help you plan your week exactly as you would like it."

Julie- "Thank you, I appreciate it."

Captain- " You are more than welcome, I do look forward to seeing you again."

  ( Julie moves off towards concierge holding a place card with her name on it.)

David ( pulling a suite case while juggling 2 shoulder bags, gently nudges his wife forward, looking at the Captain directly he says)" Good day Captain, I'm David and this is my wife Maddie." ( nudging a distracted Maddie again) " Maddie do you want to stop gawking long enough to say hello to the captain?"

Maddie-( Startled out of her amazement at the size and beauty of the ship, slightly embarrassed ) " Huh, oh oh sorry, this ship is just so amazing, it doesn't matter which way you look there is something absolutely stunning to see. Just gorgeous." ( Holding out her hand to the Captain) " Hi I'm Maddie as my husband just told you. It is so exciting to be here. We have saved all our lives for this. I was beginning to think it would never happen. First we had the kids, and then we had jobs, then our own business, and David he fell and hurt his......

 David-(interrupting but gently with a slight laugh and smile) " Now now Maddie we don't need to give our entire life history to this poor lady before she has even had a chance to say hello."

 Captain- ( laughs amused and completely enjoying the married couples exchange.) " Hello, it is very nice to meet you. I am Captain Vikki Stubing. Maddie I am sure you will find that this cruise was worth the wait. There is so much to see and do on this ship I am willing to bet you will not stop being amazed for even a minute this entire week. How long have you 2 been married?"

David- " Coming up on 40 years."

Maddie- "No David we have been married 45 years this month. Remember that is why we decided now would be the perfect time for a cruise? I swear I am going to have our wedding date tattooed on your eye lids."

David- " Maddie, I was just kidding I know how long we've been married. I'd do it all over again too if you asked me again."

Maddie- ( With a fake pout, and a pushed out lip, and sheepish smile) "I never asked you to merry me."

David-( laughing) "Oh yes you did, as I recall, you even got down on your knee. Oh don't mind us Captain we are just 2 old fools in love."

Captain- ( Also laughing) Well you 2 have a wonderful time. If there is anything My crew or I can do to help make you vacation the best ever please just let us know. I see you are in a Sea suites, and I am sure you are going to love it, with the beautiful view of the ocean. And very comfy beds I am told. Oh and I see you are at my table a few times this week. I look forward to seeing you again.

David & Maddie- ( at the same time) Thank you, we are sure this week will be a week to remember.

 ( David & Maddie and all the luggage move off towards the host and their rooms)

Annette ( Arms crossed, foot tapping, sighing loudly every so often. She has been nudging closer and closer the entire time the Haye's were talking with the Captain. The stack of luggage next to her is almost as tall as her.) " Well it's about time. I have been standing in this line forevvvveR, what could thoooose people have to say that could be that interesting. You really should have a VIP line for people like me so we don't have to wait in all this"( waving her hand towards the line of those still waiting to be checked in.) " I mean really!"

 Captain- ( Tongue in cheek, trying to but not succeeding to hide her annoyance.) You must be Annette. It is a pleasure to have you sailing with us. I am sorry that you were annoyed and had to wait. I will indeed pass your suggestion on to the home office, I am sure they will be happy to hear them. You are in the Star Suite, and from the looks of it you one of only a few guest staying in that part of the ship, giving you the ultimate privacy. As I am sure you know as a star suite guest the sky is the limit and all amenities this ship has to offer are yours to enjoy for the week. Please don't hesitate to ask for anything you may want or need."

 Annette- ( rude, dismissive, bored) Yeah yeah, it better be the best, or my Daddy will hear about it. Daddy wants me to have only the best, and making me wait wasn't a good start. Also not a good start my luggage is still sitting here. I would think by now my staff would have been her for it and had it in my suite and unpacked."( with one eyebrow raised and the foot tapping again) Orrrrr don't I have my own staff?"

Captain( Fully annoyed and working hard to hide it)

" Of course Miss, I mean Annette, you do have your own personal staff, your belongings will be taken care of immediately." ( snapping her finger to get the cabin boys attention, she motions for the boy to get the offending luggage on its way to the suite.) ( Cabin boy runs in and begins moving the stack of luggage, jiggling the top case, almost but not dropping it off the top.)

 Annette ( watching closely sees the case about to fall and yells) " Watch it you clumsy fool, that is my jewels, that case is worth more than you will make in 3 life times."

Captain-( angry but remaining calm speaking in a voice that lets the cabin boy know she understands and it is okay.)"Henry, Please be a little more careful. I am sure you will get everything to Annette's suit without a scratch and you will get it all organized by the time Annette comes to her room. Thank you."

Annette- "I would have been a little more stern with that person, but what ever as long as my room is completely ready when I get there I won't complain."

Captain-( under her breath) "That would nice."

Annette- "EXXXXXcusssse me!

Captain- " Oh I was just saying I am sure everything will be very nice. I am thinking after all that standing and waiting around you had to do you must be thirsty. I have it on good authority that in the VIP lounge there is a lovely caviar and champagne bar with comfy chairs and a trio of ladies that sing sweeter than angels. Just give your name at the door and the host will lead you to your own private table right up front where you can see and be seen."

 Annette- " That sounds like it might be okay, I am always about anything VIP, so show me the way."

 Captain( stepping sideways to let Annette Pass, sweeping her arm in a right this way gesture) " You will be in good hands with Arthur, and please enjoy your time with us." 

   (Annette walks toward the host, the captain takes a moment to breath before greeting the next guest, rubbing her forehead and straightening her uniform.)

 Captain( Looking up and smiling extends her hand) " Hello and welcome aboard, who do I have the pleasure of addressing?"

 Jennifer- (perky way to friendly) " Jennifer and Jonathan Hart at your service" 

 Jonathan-( Smiles waves and stands contently letting the wife jabber on.)

 Jennifer- " Wow that was some piece of work wasn't she, how do you deal with people like that, all rude and pushy, acting like their money makes them some kind of royalty. Who is she any way? Whats the Star suite, do you have to be star to be in one? I just don't know how you do it, me I would lose my temper so fast, I would be fired, no doubt on the first day, heck the first hour. I mean you got people snapping at you, yelling at you, making demands of you, and you got people who.....

Jonathan( cutting Jennifer off with a smile and a little hug) "never stop talking. You've asked a dozen questions and didn't let the lady answer a single one."

Jennifer- ( blushing) I am sorry I do get carried away sometimes. Jonathan calls me his jabber bee, he says I talk more than a bee buzzes. He loves me anyway."

Captain- ( Smiling, relaxed, somewhat entertained by the exchange and grateful for the reprieve from making conversation.) " I am Captain Vikki Stubing, welcome aboard we are so happy to have you sailing with us. I understand you are both seasoned sailers and have been on a good many cruises. I do hope this maiden voyage  meets and in some ways exceeds your expectations. I know I will do my level best to give you a cruise you never forget."

Jonathan(speaking quickly before his wife does) " We are so excited to be on this cruise, we have never been on a maiden voyage before and we have never done a cruise that doesn't dock for seven days. A cruise to no where, who could resist something as intriguing as that?

 Captain- ( Looking down at her clip board) Oh I see you are in the Sky suites. That is wonderful, we have a few guest staying on that deck as well but not many so you will enjoy a little bit of privacy and in between all the social event available on the ship. Any thing you want just ask the concierge and he will be happy to help you. You also have a small staff that will keep your suite clean and well stocked.You are also at my table for diner once this week, I do look forward to that. Until then please enjoy your time with us. 

   ( The Harts move off towards the host, and their rooms.) 

 (The Captain turning back to the line of guest still waiting to be greeted hides a slight sigh and smiles big for the next guests walking up to her.) Oh and you must be Abigail and Laura Holt. ( extending her hand as she speaks) I have to say there must be a mistake, I have you listed as Mother and Daughter on my ships log, but that can't be right, you are sisters, yes? ( no one takes the captains hand, so she drops it)

Abigail & Laura ( Together giggle, speaking in unison) Oh no that isn't a mistake, we get that all the time. 

 Abigail- ( with pride and a bit too loudly)We have good genes, that is for sure, and it sure doesn't hurt to have 5 rich ex husbands and a plastic surgeon on speed dial.

Laura- ( just as loud, unaware of those close by staring) Oh Mother stop it now. All those exes are nothing to brag about, ya know. And nobody cares how rich they were, except you.

Abigail- ( Looking at her daughter with a hint of disgust) Now don't you be lecturing me honey, it seems to me when it comes to exes you have more than a few and I don't recall any of them being poor. That set of Emeralds on your ears and neck didn't just grow there over night you know.

( Both Mother and Daughter, looking sheepish return their attention to the captain) 

Abigail-( reaching her hand out) We are so sorry captain, we just get so distracted with each other sometimes we forget our manners.  Yes I am Abigail Holt and this is my daughter Laura.

Captain- ( accepting the offered hand in a quick friendly shake, smiling brightly holding back the laugh that is dying to escape.) That is perfectly okay. Welcome aboard, we are so happy to have the two of you with us. I am sure it is going to be a wonderful voyage and all the more interesting having you both on the ship with us. I see you are in the Star Suites, that deck has the best views and your bedroom doors open up to a perfect balcony breakfast nook and the most spectacular views of the rising sun. These are some of our finest suites, I know you will enjoy them, very much.

Laura- I am sure we will, although we don't plan on being in them much, no not much at all. 

Captain- Well that is wonderful, you will find all sorts of activities and events throughout the entire ship, and as a Star Class passenger almost no door is closed to you. Just let your staff know your every want and need and they will do their very best to accommodate you. 

Abigail- Well my daughter may be out ship hopping, but me I plan to stay in the suite the entire week, I am not sure I will step one foot out my cabin door.

Captain- However you decide to spend your time with us I am sure it will be everything you hoped for.( turning to the side and gesturing with her arm) Please step this way and your butler will meet you at the VIP lounge and escort you to your suites when you are ready.

(Mother and daughter, step away happily chatting to one another) 

 Captain ( shifting from foot to foot, waiting a little impatiently with an indulgent smile, waiting to speak)

 Leni( head down face in the phone, a slight scrowl, without looking up begins to speak) Are you kidding me, there is no WIFI, how am I suppose to keep in contact, I am going to need....( looking up at the captain) I am going to need WIFI that is for sure, I can't go 7 days without it. My office will need to contact me send me important emails and drafts. Damn I will never understand why Hank made me take this vacation, he knows they need me. ( as if noticing the captain for the first time) Oh hello, you must be Captain Stubbing, I'm( offering her hand at the same time) Leni Martek, here on a forced vacation. Just point me to my room and tell me how to connect to the WIFI and I will be happily on my way.

Captain ( taken aback by the force and abruptness) Oh My, yes I am the Captain, and it is a pleasure to meet you. A forced vacation, well that explains the directions I have received. I am assuming your boss booked this package for you? 

 Leni( looking concerned) Yes yes he did, and what directions?

 Captain( hiding a smile, and straightening her back as she ready's for the struggle about to happen) Well your boss booked you into the sea suite package that does not include WIFI. You have many many wonderful relaxing ammenities but WIFI is not one of them. Also your boss has put a stay on all your credit cards so you can't purchase WIFI. We can't do this, but your boss also asked us to remove the phone from you. You are however booked for an evening of fun and dinning and dancing as a guest of my table. I am sure we will have fabulous time.

 Leni ( Getting angrier with every word spoken by the captain, can't help but explode as the captain utters the last words) FABULOUS TIME, DINNIG, DANCING, WHO ON GODS GREEN EARTH HAS TIME FOR THAT?( The captain is motioning for her to calm down and lower her voice, people near are staring) I am not here to have fun, I don't want to have fun. No one should be having fun, and that is what they will do while I am gone, they will have fun. No no no there is work to do, I need that WIFI. I need my phone.

Captain- I am sure it will be alright, I am sure when you get back there will be all the work you could ever hope for waiting for you. In the mean time you can relax take in some music, read a book, enjoy a little sunshine, and ( with head turned to the side in an almost whisper) take a zanax, (back to facing her) and before you know it the cruise will be over.

Leni- I will not be relaxing that is for sure, I will just find another way to get my work done.

Captain(smiling in defeat) Well as you see fit, if you step this way, one of our stewards will help you find your room.

  ( bouncing on the balls of his feet, clicking his fingers, Isaac suddenly realizing it is his turn, springs forward, almost falling into the Captain.) Ooffff, Oh my goodness, my apologies, I was just trying to get in a few leg stretches while I was waiting, I guess I was pulled a little too tight. I am Isaac Washington, and you must be the lovely Captain Stubbing. My my you do look fit, you must work out a  lot. 

 Captain- Oh wow Mr Washington, you do have away of taking ones breath away. ( extending her hand) Yes I am Captain Vikki Stubbing, and thank you. 

 Isaac- Please call me Isaac, and you are most welcome. 

 Captain- Well Isaac welcome aboard, I see here you are in a Sea suite, and I am sure you will be happy to know that there is a state of the art gym on that deck, along with an olympic size pool, sauna and a hot tub to soak in after a good work out. While you don't have a personal trainer with this package, there are classes and workouts that you are free to join whenever you would like. Just let any staff member know what you would like and they will be happy to help you. Please enjoy your time with us.

 Isaac- ( Walking away and speaking at the same time.) Thank you, I am sure it will be delightful spending 7 days floating on the calm sunny seas.

 Captain-  ( raised eyebrow, amused) Hello and welcome aboard the ..... According to my logs here you are Burl Smith, is that right?

 Burl ( Head down, feet dragging, an awe shucks attitude, moves forward, he answers slowly, shyly, almost uncertainly) Ye....s yes I am Burl Smith, I.... it's a pleasure to meet you Captain. I I I have ba ba been looking forward to this voyage for mmmonths. I never do things like this, I think about it all the time but when push comes to shove I end up sitting it out.

 Captain- I am happy you decided to join us, do you mind my asking what got you to not sit this one out?

  Burl- The music! I love to dance and I heard one of the bands playing on this ship is Wicked Cricket, and I just love them. 7 days of music and dancing with my favorite band, ( realizing how much he has just said, he drops his head and scuffs his shoes, before looking back up embarrassed)  

 Captain- Yes they are a good band. It sounds like you have an enjoyable week planned. If you need any help with those plans, the staff on the Sea deck will be glad to assist you.

 Burl -Thank you, I think I am all set. ( extending his hand, shakes quickly and walks off in the wrong direction) 

 Captain- ( calling out quietly) Mr Smith, Mr Smith,( Burl turns to look at the captain) if you go this way(captain points towards the bar) a steward will help you find your room. ( Burl walks off)

 Captain( Trying hard not to laugh out loud, turns to greet the next guest)

  Captain( still smiling, and holding back the laughter) Hello and welcome to the ship, you must be ( a quick look at her log) Adam Bricker, you aren't a doctor by any chance are you? ( holding out her hand and lightly giggling at the same time.) I am sorry I just couldn't resists. Welcome aboard Mr Bricker, I do hope you will enjoy your time with us.

  Adam ( smiling, enjoying the conversation a bit more than he should) Thank you, I am verrrry happy to be here now that I have meet the Captain( still holding the hand she had offered) No I am not a doctor, but I get that question a lot. Normally I say no my Mother was a big fan. That usually confuses them since the Dr and I are the same age. ( The captain gives a real laugh, she totally gets the joke.)

Captain- ( through the laughter) I see you have a sky suite, that is a wonderful deck, the suites are amazing and the your staff is there 24/7 to help assure you have a fabulous time. Your luggage  has already been taken to your suite, and if you requested it the staff will have unpacked for you as well. ( looking down) Oh I see the staff forgot a bag let me call someone right now. What an unusual looking case, is it old?

 Adam( Reaching down and picking up the case, holding it close to his chest) No no you don't need to call anyone, I will carry this to my room myself. Yes the case is very old and I would never be able to replace it if it were to get lost. It is very important to my work, as well as very old.

  Captain- Oh what line of work are you in Mr Bricker?

 Adam- Oh I am a jeweler, I have a line of stores around the country, but my home base is on South Street. I do my best creating there. I just love working with gold.

 Captain- That sounds fascinating. I just love wearing gold. I am sure you create some very beautiful pieces.  I do hope you enjoy your time on the ship, please let the staff know of any needs you may have. ( Captain turns to allow Adam to pass) 

  Franklin Bootherstone ( advances quickly and begins speaking before actually reaching the Captain.) Hello I'm Franklin( hesitate, stammer a little) Bootherstone of Philadelphia, Jewelers row, diamonds you know. Yes yes very big in diamonds.

  Captain- Good Evening Mr Bootherstone, it is a pleasure to have you on board. I understand you will be needing a safe during your stay with us. Well let me assure you the safe on the Star deck is one of the best, state of the art all the way. Nothing but the absolute finest for our guest. 

 Franklin- My father is Mr Boothersteine I mean Bootherston, no no, stone Bootherstone, why couldn't we have an easier last name. ( Not to self, no one gets the name right even Franklin) Anyway I am Franklin, not Frank, or Frankie, or even Fran, I am Franklin.

 Captain- Very well Franklin, I see that your baggage has arrived at your suite and your staff is ready for your arrival. ( Laughing only slightly) I hope you remembered the key for those cuffs, I hate for you to be cuffed to that case all weekend long.

  Franklin- Yes that would be a bit embarrassing now wouldn't it. Once I get to my suite I will be only to happy to get this case of my wrist. It is extremely heavy.

Captain- My my my just what a girl likes to hear about a case full of precious stones. Well Franklin I do hope you enjoy you voyage with us, and find everything satisfactory.

 Franklin- I am sure I will, just looking around at all this Grade A prime....., well I am sure I will.

Captain(less then impressed now) If you will just step this way to the VIP lounge you butler will be along shortly to escort you to your suite.(turning sideways sweeping her arm to show the way)

Captain ( Turning back to the line of guest with a soft sigh and a discreet peek at her watch) Hello, and you must be ( looking at the log) Shelia Evans, welcome aboard. Is this your first time sailing? 

 Shelia-( smiling big hand out, fairly dancing in excitement, speaking quickly as she shakes, holding fast to the captains hand) Hi, Hello, yes yes I am Shelia. Heavens no this isn't my first boat ride, I just love a cruise all the fresh sea air, the sun shine, the dancing, drinking, and honey the men. 

 Captain- ( Out and out laughing as she tries to remove her hand from the steel grip) Yes to all those things and then some. I am so happy to have you aboard, I can tell already that you are going to be the life of the party. I see here you paid a little extra for dinner at the Captains table, how nice, that is one dinner I am sure I am going to enjoy. 

Shelia( blushing, reaching up and touching the necklace she is wearing) Oh how nice of you to say Captain, I hope I get seated next to a nice single gentleman, and not someones boring drunk ole husband.

Captain( Laughing) Oh that would be horrid wouldn't it. I will see to it you are seated near me and a charming SINGLE man. (Laughing, reaching out to touch the necklace) What an interesting piece, it looks very very old, is it a family heirloom?

  Shelia ( stepping back to politely remove the captains hand) Yes, it is from the civil war era, my Great great great Grandfather brought it home from the war, and it has been in my family ever since passed down Mother to daughter. Mother just gave it to me this past month on my birthday.

 Captain- How interesting, I imagine it is very valuable, just for the history alone.

 Shelia- Yes it is, to my family at least.

 Captain( looking at the log) I see you are on the Sea deck, those are some very nice suite on that deck, and I believe there are some fun activities on that deck as well for singles.

 Shelia( without waiting or anymore words walks off, with a wave and a smile.)

Captain( spends 30 seconds smiling, shaking her head, watching Shelia walk away, then turns to greet the last guest in line.) Mr Price,( looks him up and down and keeps her hand at her side) welcome aboard. 

 Alan- Thank you ( Leans in as if for a hug and a cheek kiss, almost falling when the captain side steps him) Just call me Alan or Al or Al baby, just don't call me late, haha.haha.haha.ha/ha, if you know what I mean.

Captain- Okay Alan, I see you are on the sea deck, and I am sure you will enjoy that deck very much. So much so I am sure you will never want to leave it. 

  Alan- I am sure the suite and deck will be perfect, but I am more than sure I won't see much of it, no siree, I am going to be where ever the action is, and I did pay for a dinner at the Captains table, something I am totally looking forward too. Maybe I will get lucky and get seated between you and the lovely lady that was just before me.

 Captain- You never know Alan, you never know. Now if you will step this way, a steward will show you the way to your suite and help you get settled.

( The captain, motions for Alan to head in the direction of the lobby/bar and then heads off in a different direction, Curtain closes.)