The curtain opens to a room full of residents with drinks already in hand. While not drunk it is clear more then one cocktail has been had. Different conversations can be heard through out the room, as the residents mix and mingle as they do every night. The boredom can be heard in their voices.and seen in the extremely casual way they dress. ( There should be a mummer of conversation in the back ground as the featured actors have their conversation.
George, Jessica, and Lazlo are all standing close to the bar talking, or rather trying to out talk each other.
George- Well when I was playing a stock hand in Sherlock Holmes Movie, Sherlock Holmes in New York, , Roger Moore himself told me....( his words over shadowed by Jessica)
Lazlo- ( somewhat indulgent )Now now Jessica, you, know we have heard how you were in " Gone with the Wind " so many times we can all repeat it word for word, and you didn't even have a speaking part.
Jessica turns sharply looking directly at Lazlo with dagger eyes.
Jessica -( said in a low oh boy you in it now voice) Well Lazlo, or should I say Ralph Parker, heir to a dirt farm? ( he visibly cringes, but says nothing) It isn't as if you don't bore us all daily with your lunch with Selvester Stallion, or your part as a ring boy in one of his Rocky movies. If I have to hear one more time, that you're on a first name basis with that man I, I, I ,I well I don't know what, but,I'll do something.( walking off in a huff as she says the last line. She joins another group of residents, continuing to glare )
Lillian - Standing near the bar away from the others at the bar, watching all the goings on.( quietly almost to herself ) Well I guess its a good thing I didn't bring up the fact I danced in the movie Flash Dance, and that I was actually on stage with Jennifer Beals again. ( said with a sarcastic slow southern twang) But really who of any of us has any new stories to tell. ( said loud enough for the room to hear)
Standing Nearest to Lillian, slightly amused that she chose to only whisper her greatest moment in show business is Carlos the worlds worst director only he doesn't know it.
Lillian fires back in a heated manner- Well at least the movie I was in wasn't a flop like every movie you ever directed. At least unlike you my name is on a winner.
Carlos is stunned at the rudeness and is unable to speak for a moment, but when he does he is adamant his face contorted in anger - My movies where some of best movies ever directed, I was brilliant and creative. It isn't my fault the critics were sightless old hacks that didn't know greatness when they saw it . You shriveled up old has been that never could dance, didn't know her left from her right.
Totally at a loss for words, it looks as if Lillian is about to slap Carlos, but instead she slams her hand down to her side and walks away briskly in a fit of anger.
Miriam -( In her best Lindsey Wagner sexy strut slides towards George. Think Wonder women meets the Golden Girls . upon reaching him Miriam quietly in her sexiest voice whispers in his ear. )I have something new to talk about. ( puckering her lips and putting a finger to her lips.... Shhhh it's a secret. Promise you won't tell any one.
George-( intrigued, raises his eyebrow as gets even closer to Miriam.) Do tell, do tell, I am just dying to know your secret. ( said in a bored kind of tone as if he isn't really interested in hers or any other secret. In reality he is actually a little excited for something different to happen.)
Miriam- ( in a teasing tone) Well you have to promise me first that this is just between us. Do you promise.
George- ( bored, and put out a little at having to promise.) Yes Yes I promise. Come on lets sit down and you can tell me your news.
George and Miriam sit down at a table in the corner away from the crowd. Putting their heads together talking quietly ,Miriam is very animated while still trying to keep the conversation between themselves.
The two of them are so intent in their conversation they don't notice Lazlo creep closer and closer to eavesdrop .
George - (so the audience can hear, the rest of the cast don't hear them.excitedly) Are you serious Miriam, your Grandson is doing a movie, and needs senior actors? And he is coming here for dinner tonight, to, to, to what look us over?
Miriam-( in a staged whisper) Yes yes George, please please keep this to yourself. My Grandson wants to observe us as we really are. He doesn't want everyone fawning over him, or auditioning while he's eating.
Lillian ,always observant watches intently from her new position in the corner of the room, as Lazlo eavesdropped on the whispered conversation, Lillian will be first to learn the big secret, because she steps right into Lazlo path as he makes his way back into the middle the room.
Lillian- What did you just hear while you were sneaking around those 2 with their heads so close they could be one. You better tell me or, ........ I will tell George you were sneaking around eavesdropping on him, and you know what he said he would do to you if he caught you in his business again. ( a quick flash of fear passes his face) but he leans in and whispers what he has just heard.
As the scene closes ( slowly ) Miriam and George continue talking quietly, and we see Lazlo moving quickly through the crowd excitedly whispering in one ear after another.
Scene 2
The curtain opens to an elegant dinning room, the tables set with vases of flowers and burning candles. A few wait staff are moving around adding the final touches to the table. Sitting to the left 2 seats from the head of the table, is Jessica. She is sitting at an odd angle giving the impression she's already drunk and passed out.
Notes for me(
- Hors d'oeuvres, Appetizer, Salad, Main Course, Dessert)
Lazlo murder victim # 2
Miriam Murder victim # 3
Police sergeant dummer then dumb and couldn't catch a clue if it put it self right into hands
Private Detective like Angela Lansbury
George and Miriam argue during the Hors d'oeuvres course of the dinner. She is furious he let her secret out, and he is even more furious that she would embarrass him like that in front of their guest. Who is sitting back thourghly enjoying the show.During the argument Miriam flings her arm out knocking Jessica out of the chair. It will take a second or two before everyone realizes she's dead.
After the curtain opens, ( dinner music playing very low in the back ground.) The cast come in one and 2 at a time taking their places at the table. Everyone is talking to everyone excitedly and no real conversation is heard. 1 or 2 will point at Jessica, a few more will laugh at a joke made at Jessicas expense.
Lillian -( In a scathing, insulting voice) Well it looks as if the poor dear just can't hold her liquor. Oh well that is one less person for the audition .
As Lillian Finishes the last part of her sentence Miriam walks into the room with her Grandson, over hearing Lillian, she stops short and looks around the room noticing how everyone is all dressed up, over dressed actually. She give a crushing look in Georges direction she lets out an angry huff and stomps off to her chair the 1st one to the left of the head of the table, before introducing her Grandson as he takes the chair offered at the head of the table
Miriam- I would like to introduce all of you to my Grandson Andrew Horowitz.He is my son Anthony's youngest son. I am so happy he could come have dinner with me.
The introductions go around the table with each person introducing them selves. Except Jessica, they flawlessly glide over Jessica without disturbing her.
Miriam is sitting across from George and she just can't stop glaring at him, she is still livid that he didn't keep her secret.
With the introductions over and the Hors d'oeuvres served attention is turned to the food and polite conversation is happening, except Miriam, every time George laughs or shows off his perfect smile, in the direction of Andrew she gets angrier and angrier. When the seniors begin auditioning at the table not even to the 2nd course yet she can hold it in no longer, right in the middle of Lazlo's wonderfully awful comedy routine Miriam begins yelling at George.
Lazlo (a little more drunk then not) With a fork raised in one hand and a big napkin tucked into his neck, head lolling a bit - I'm telling you ladies and germs, it was rough getting here tonight, I mean it I had to fly all the way here,........and my arms are a hurting, no but seriously folks take my wife.......please take her.
George, Lillian, and Carlos all together throwing napkins at him and saying-- That enough! Your jokes are the worst, stop ruining our dinner.
Lazlo- Awe yer jus jealous that I was in a Rocky movie and Slivester, had lunch me and knows my name. now where was I, oh yes thats right There was an old lady that live in Nantucket .
Miriam cutting him off- Oh shut up Lazlo you are awful. AND YOU GEORGE HOW DARE YOU TELL MY SECRET TO THIS ENTIRE ROOM. YOU PROMISED, YOU LIAR YOU. I WILL NEVER EVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN, YOU AWFUL AWFUL PERSON, AND YOU CAN BET YOU WILL NOT BE GETTING A PART IN THE MOVIE.
George completely humiliated and caught totally off guard turning beet red explodes like a ticking time bomb-- WHY YOU OLD WORN OUT HAG. I DIDN'T TELL A SINGLE SOUL WHAT YOU TOLD ME. HOW DARE YOU EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. IF I WERE ON THAT SIDE OF THE ROOM I DO BELIEVE I WOULD THROTTLE YOU.
Miriam- Arms thrashing about in angry movements WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME. WHY I this when she hits Jessica and Jessica hits the floor.
Miriam- Dang it Jessica you old drunk get up and ......Looking down at Jessica a little more closely Miriam gets a shocked look in her eyes, she covers her mouth but it doesn't hold in the scream or stop the repeated phrase, OH MY GOD OH MY GOD repeated over and over again.
With the first scream everyone comes running to that side of the table, all talking excitedly.
George - Don't anyone touch anything, the police will want everything left as is.
Lazlo - What do you mean the police?
Lillian - well it must be murder. Look at her tongue and lips they are almost black, and is that throw up, who shows up in blues and greens like that.
Miriam in a very shaken voice, Did anyone check to make sure she is really dead?
Symptoms of nitrate poisoning can vary depending on the amount and duration of the exposure. Those with very mild methemoglobinemia might not have any symptoms at all, or might appear a little pale and feel tired. Moderate-to-severe poisoning is associated with cyanosis (blueness of the skin), confusion, loss of consciousness, seizures, abnormal heart rhythms, and death. The old toxicology adage by the 16th century physician Paracelsus, "the dose makes the poison," truly applies to nitrates and nitrites. No living thing can live and grow without them, but too much can be deadly.
Scene 3
The curtain raises to find everyone talking at once and police officers trying desperately get everyone under control. After a few minutes of chaos one of the officers blows a loud whistle causing everyone to grab their ears and react in pain.
Walking on stage as the whistle blows Captain Knotts loudly to be heard over the din and whistle somewhat aggravated throws the whistle blowing LEO a dirty looks while demanding everyone shut up and sit down.
Captain Knotts- rumpled and as unkept as Columbo and not much brighter then his wrinkled cloths demands Whose in charge here. What on earth is going on, and why doesn't someone help that lady off the floor? Whats the matter with her anyway she looks a little blue.( one of his deputies whispers in his ear ) DEAD, what do you mean dead?
Lillian-( From where she is sitting as close to the dead body as she could) It would appear Captain Knotts, that Jessica has been poisoned in some form or another. We haven't touched a thing or moved anything but just from the look of her it is clear she consumed something that didn't agree with her.
Captain Knotts- And what is your name Madam?
Lillian- Mrs Lillian Cunningham, of the Boston Cunningham's, Standing up straight and tall looking over her short glasses and down her nose at the Captain she already sees as a bumbling fool.
Captain Knotts - Well Lillian, / Lillian- Excuse me ( interrupting before another word is uttered, but the captains mouth is open) you will address me as Mrs Cunningham if you please and you will kindly remove that hat when speaking to a lady.
Captain Knotts- With a sheepish grin he removes his hat and tries again, Mrs Cunningham since you seem to be so well informed maybe you can tell me how and why this women was as you say murdered.
Lillian- Well if she was murdered or not is for you to say now isn't it Captain, you are after all the police. But if I were made to guess I would continue to say that Jessica was murdered and if it was murder it was poison of some kind causing her skin to discolor. As for who I haven't a clue, but I would have to assume we are all suspects and that we all have some reason for wanting Jessica gone, I really can't say for sure, all I do know for sure is one of us is a murderer.(said as she looks around the room at all the people she shares a home with)
Captain Knotts- Right right, ( talking to his officers) Go ahead and get everyones names addresses and phone numbers, and go ahead and take brief statements from everyone. Oh and inform everyone they shouldn't leave town.
George- with a slight snort, Right like we could go anywhere if we wanted, aint got no cars and no drivers licenses either, not even sure we still know how to drive.
Lillian- I suppose you will be setting up a room somewhere here on the first floor to do the interviews right?
Captain Knotts - Looking at Lillian kind of blankly and then stammering Oh yea yea right, I will speak to someone at the front desk right away. So glad I thought of that, we wouldn't want to have to taxi you all to the station just to get a few simple statements after all.
Mariam - Almost to herself A possible murder and a room full of suspects and he thinks it will be a few simple statements. If it weren't so sad I would laugh.
Lillian standing near by says nothing out loud, but looks over at Captain Knotts and sadly nods her head in agreement.
Scene 4
Interview room, small with a desk and a few chairs seated around the desk. A water pitcher with paper cups sits on a table in the corner. The desk is empty except for a phone, note pad and a pencil ( not a pen)
Curtain opens with Knotts at the desk on the phone. He hangs up after saying a few words ending with, Yes Yes I understand, everything will be in order, there will be no mistakes this time. After cradling the phone he looks at the officer standing at the door and says I think we will start with that Mariam women, if you would be so kind as to fetch her. Mariam comes in rather reluctantly and slouches sexily down into the hard metal chair.( well she thinks it is sexy even if no one else does.
Captain Knotts- Where were you when the murder happened?
Mariam - Well how do I know, I have no idea when it happened? In fact I don't think you do either. What do you know?
Captain Knotts Taken aback not only by the straight forwardness of her answer, but that she clearly had spoken the truth, stammers out a weak and inadequate answer, that is almost not heard. " Ah yes, I see."
Okay what can you tell me about the victim? Was she a friend of yours?
Mariam- Jessica a friend...... I am not sure you would say that. We weren't enemies but we weren't close. I still get acting offers( very few and always for the old women with o friends) and she didn't, so she was jealous of me. ( flipping her hair and sitting slightly straighter looking at the captain) Mariam asks a question of her own. " Why are you running this investigation , don't you normally have homicide detectives just for that purpose?
Captain Knotts is once again left stammering for words. Having just gotten off the with the his boss reminding him that he better not mess this up, Mariam's observation only served to make him even more nervous about the longevity of his job. " I I I , well our Mr Weekly who normally conducts investigations like this one is on vacation so the job falls to me. I may not do this kind of thing often but I have it all in hand. Yes yes I do I have it all handled I read the book after all and I passed the class, even if I had to take it 3 times.
Mariam- Oh that must be difficult to have so much pressure on you, to cover for someone that rarely makes mistakes or bumbles about like a fish, and be expected to be the same your first time out. Are you married, I bet not or your shirt would be ironed and it wouldn't be so dingy either. Well at least you won't be dealing with the added pressure of a nagging wife wanting you to be promoted or some such thing.
Captain Knotts- No no you are quite right I am not married, I have managed to dodge that bullet a good many years now( Mariam hides a slight snicker behind her hand) Did you say something?
Mariam- No no just a yawn escaped me, it is after all getting late and we are all use to an early bed time.
After a few more questions are asked and Mariam answers with a few more questions of her own, Captain Knotts gives a slight shake of his head and declares the interview over. As Mariam takes her leave Captain Knotts is seen with his head bowed slightly shaking side to side, and as he realizes he was being interviewed more then he did any interviewing he says to himself " I am never going to survive this!"
The curtain stays up, a deputy enters after seeing Mariam leave. " Who would you like to talk to now sir?"
Captian Knotts- Replies softly almost to himself " No one"
The Deputy- Excuse me sir? Confused he stares at the captain and asks again " Sir?" Are we finished for the night?
Captain Knotts- Straightening up lifting his head and rounding his shoulders, "No No No, I am sorry deputy I am tired and I guess it is showing. Please show in the one that called the police, I believe his name is Carlo.
Off to the side of the stage Mariam , Lillian and Lazlo can be over heard talking.
Lillian- Well what happened in there?
Lazlo- Grunts a little and shuffles closer to hear better.
Mariam- Well He isn't married, he is only filling in for someone named Weekly, and he doesn't have the slightest idea what he is doing. Oh and I believe he is on the hot seat with his bosses.
Lillian- Now that is interesting. What did you find out about the murder?
Lazlo- Lillian don't you mean what did they find out about the murder?
Lillian- No Lazlo, if Mariam knows all of that information, I am sure she found out more about the murder itself.
Mariam- Actually not much. The captain seems to not have any real ideas and not had the chance to really investigate things. I tell you this though, with the questions he asking he may never know. I don't think he is very adapt at uncovering clues in a murder investigation.
The three break up and walk away, Lazlo and Mariam walk off together arm in arm and head tilted towards each other. Lillian heads in a different direction extremely deep in thought with a puzzled look on her face.
Back on the main stage Carlo is now standing near the interview table, fidgeting looking nervous, almost sweating even though it is cool in the room.
Captain Knotts- My name as you know is Knotts, captain Harold Knotts, and you are.
Carlos- With a slight hesitation as if he doesn't know the answer I am Carlos Jones, said as he reaches out a hand to shake.
Captain Knotts returning the hand shake, Jones? really? One of my favorite TV shows. ( Carlos has a confused look, but laughs lightly anyway.) Have a seat Carlos. Would you like anything to drink, water coffee?
Carlos- Whiskey neat would be nice.
Captain Knotts- Yea that isn't possible but I agree a cocktail would be nice right about now. Just a few questions and you can make your way back to the bar. Did you know the deceased well?
Carlos- Well...... we pretty much know everyone here pretty well. It is pretty much like living together, we all eat together, watch tv more often then not together, drink together and take field trips together . The only thing we don't do together is sleep together...... well maybe we don't all sleep together, but I think a few have broken that rule a time or two. Like Jessica and Lazlo, it was rumored that they were enjoying a little more than cuddle time if you now what I mean.
Captain Knotts- I see, was the deceased prone to sharing others beds?
Carlos- Would you stop calling Jessica the deceased , her name was Jessica Ann Bentley. And no she wasn't a floozy.
Captain Knotts- Okay okay, I am sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or show disrespect to Ms Bentley. You say you all knew one another well, and did you all get along? Where there those that didn't like Ms Bentley, had a problem with her?
Carlos- We are people and at times we argue, but I don't believe anyone has had an issue with Jessica that would make them this mad. Even when Jessica and Debbie had a tussle over Lazlo, it got tense but not so much that anyone would hurt anyone else.
Captain Knotts- Debbie? Who is Debbie, I don't remember that name being said while we were out front with the entire group?
Carlos- Oh no Debbie isn't here anymore, she was moved into a less expensive home. Something to do with her SS and pension not being enough to cover this place until she dies. Her and Jessica were fighting right up till the day Debbie moved, but they were both still alive at the end of that day.
Captain Knotts- Looking down at his note pad and rubbing his cheek, he looks over what he has written, and says slowly without making eye contact " that's fine, thank you, that will be all for now, you can go.
Carlos leaves the Captain sitting at the table rubbing his head like it hurts, slightly shaking his head as well and mumbling to himself. The Deputy enters the room looking concerned and asks Sir, Captain are you okay? without waiting for an answer he continues, " Would you like to see the next ...... witness now?
Leaning back in his chair taking a deep breath, the captain looks at the deputy and sadly asks, " Why did I pick today to stop smoking?" Looking for a moment like he might offer the captain a cigarette the deputy seems to think better of it, shrugs and just waits for the captains next order.
The Captain- I guess I might as well bite the damn bullet and get it over with, bring in that Lillian women, I mean Mrs Cunningham. I just know I am not going to like this.
The deputy leaves, The captain remains seated writing notes and stopping every few seconds as if in deep thought. A few minutes later voices can be heard in the hall. It isn't possible to make out what is being said but it is clear it is an argument and a loudly unpleasant one at that.
Captain Knotts gets up from the table and opens the door to the hallway. Looking first to the left, and then quickly to the right where he stands for just a few seconds more before turning back into the room with an extremely puzzled look on his face.
The Deputy comes into the room with Lillian following closely behind, The captain turns and says abruptly " I have changed my mind I want to speak to Lazlo, and then I will want to speak to George." Lillian is following along in total fascination not missing a word, and trying to blend into the wall paper so she can hear even more.
The Deputy- Okay sir, should I have the 2nd gentlemen wait here in the hall or will you have me fetch him after you finish with Lazlo?
Captain- No no you can let George know he will be next and not to go to far, but be casual about it, and don't let..... at that moment a slight movement catches the captains eye and he looks over at Lillian " Oh Mrs Cunningham, you can go for now. It may be tomorrow before I am able to finish all the interviews, I am sorry to say. So if you like you can go ahead and head to your room. I am sure you would like to get out of your formal attire and be more relaxed.
Lillian- slightly disappointed but only slightly leaves the room with just a nod of her head and a thank you.
The captain and deputy now alone the captain faces the deputy and continues speaking as if he had never stopped.
captain- And don't let George and Lazlo speak to each other. I just heard them arguing and I want to know why.
Without another word the deputy leaves to get Lazlo.
Curtain closes or the lights go way down on the captain standing near the table tapping a pencil on the note pad looking off in thought.
Curtain opens or lights up
Deputy walking into the main dinning area seeing everyone gather near the bar all in a tight circle whispering
Lillian is heard - I don't know what happened but as soon as I walked in the room that bumbling captain changed his mind and decided he wanted Lazlo and George. At first I thought they were going to be interviewed together but the deputy asked...... Carlos sees the deputy and shushes Lillian.
Deputy- Lazo the captain would like to talk to you now. George you will be after that and hopefully we can get to everyone else just as quickly as possible." George and Lazlo exchange a nervous almost guilty look and quickly let it drop, but not before Lillian sees it." It is getting late however and if some of you would like to go to your rooms and change out of you formal clothing, I am sure that would be okay.
Lazlo and the deputy leave the room but not a single person moved from where they had been standing. Everyone starts talking at once, and no one is understanding a word anyone is saying.
Lillian- As loud as she can muster " Everyone just calm down, if we all talk at once we will never hear a thing. It seems the biggest question is why Lazlo and George? " Everyone turns and stares at George, stepping a little closer in case they miss what he might say. " Well George why you?"
George- I haven't a clue, really I don't. I know as much as you.
Mariam- Still convinced and still angry that George spilled the beans about her Grandson Andrew, "Well we know that's true, cause if you knew you wouldn't be able to keep it to yourself. We all know you can't keep a secret right George! "
George- head down, embarrassed and angry for being falsely accused " Mariam I did NOT give your secret away. I swear I never told a single person. Ask anyone here, none of them can say I told them about your Grandson coming here and why.
Mariam- Well you are the only person I uttered one word too so how do you explain ....... At that moment the deputy walks back in the room.
Deputy- Looking around taking in the tense scene " I think you all should just go ahead and go to your rooms for now. I can find you when I need you and I am sure you would rather be comfortably reading or watching TV then just stand around waiting.
Reluctantly the residents head for the hallways leading to their rooms. It is clear they would much rather stand around waiting, then go to their rooms and tv. Nothing different or exciting ever happens here and this is both. Lillian is the last person leaving the dinning area and she is moving as slow as possible hoping to catch just a little crumb.
Deputy- as everyone heads out of the room. "George you and I can wait here. I am sure it won't be that long and I know the captain wants to speak to you tonight if it is at all possible. On the deputy's last words we see Lillian finally slide out of the doorway out of view, missing the Deputy saying " have a seat, I will be right back, I need to tell the Captain something."
1/2 curtain?
Captain - (As Lazlo enters) Please come in and sit down. Is Lazlo your first or your Last name?
Lazlo- Taking a seat answers tentatively almost nervously " It is my first name. My full name is Lazlo K Rider.
Knock Knock, the deputy puts his head in the door," it s important sir" The captain stands up annoyed and walks to the door. In a stage whisper Deputy- Not sure exactly what, but there is tension between Mariam, and these 2 men. As I walked in the room she was clearly telling them off and they didn't want me hearing it.
Captain- Thank you deputy, you are right that is information I need to know. Good job .
Re entering the room ,captain- Sorry about that, it is very nice to meet you Mr Rider. So tell me Mr Rider where you and the deceased friends?
Lazlo- The name is Lazlo if you don't mind, and you mean Jessica, yeah you could call us that. We talked a time or 2 shared a drink and a story, if you call that friends then we were friends.
Captain- Did you share more than a drink or 2? Like maybe her bed?
Lazlo- Now you just wait a minute, that aint no ones business and besides you can get kicked out of here for having relations like that with other residents. You don't believe me ask that broad Debbi.
Captain - It is interesting that you brought up Debbi, I do want to talk to you about her, but first do you want to tell me what you and George were arguing about just now?
Lazlo with his head down acting slightly sheepish squirming in his seat.- Well well, it is a little embarrassing to be honest, and it isn't really anything all that important ( gaining confidence as he talks Lazlo lifts head and looks the captain in the face.) It is just that I over heard something that was suppose to be secret and I repeated it to a few people and George got blamed for telling. Now he is mad at me, he wants me to tell Mariam it was me that spilled the beans.
Captain ( slightly excited ) Secret, what secret?
Lazo- Oh nothing big really, but it was Mariam's secret and you never cross the Queen, she can make life so unhappy for a person here. That is why I don't want to admit I told the secret, if she figured out that I was listening to her private conversation, I will never have a day of peace again. I mean she can remove me from the dinner table, my single room, and even from activi.....
Captain - Interrupting sounding slightly impatient, " What is the secret?"
Lazo- Oh yeah yeah, It was nothing really, it was just, Her Grandson Andrew was coming for dinner, and that he was going to pick a few of us for a movie project he is doing. We weren't suppose to know, so he could observe us in our natural habitat, kind of like animals in a zoo. Like I said nothing really. In fact her Grandson didn't even seem annoyed, he actually seemed to be enjoying himself.
Captain- Thank you Lazo, that will be all for now. I may have more questions later on, but for now I truly can't think of anything else. Oh Oh Oh yes, Debbi? You mentioned this women Debbi and her being kicked out. Are you saying she was removed for having sexual relations with another resident?
Lazo- Yes
Captain- So not because she couldn't afford this place?
Lazo- No No it was because she and George were sharing a bed and Mariam caught them. She turned her into the administration. The only reason George is still living here is because Mariam told the administration she didn't see the mans face.
Captain- Ah I see. Thank you. Now that will be all for tonight.
As Lazlo leaves the room the deputy enters, about to ask if he should bring George now, before he can speak Captain- "Deputy after you bring George in could you please get all the info you can on an ex resident named Debbi."
Deputy- No problem sir, and I will be right back with George.
George seating at the table looking uncomfortable Captain- Good evening George, thank you for waiting up to talk to me. Can I ask your full name please.
George- I am George T Smith.
Captain- barely containing a smile " it is nice to meet you. So lets just get started. I'm just gonna jump right in here and start with the hard questions first. Who is Debi?
George,- slightly blushing slightly proud, "She was a women that use to live here about a year ago, she transferred to a better facility"
Captain- " She wasn't removed for having relationships with a man in this facility?"
George- extremely uncomfortable now, " well yessss, but she did go into a better home."
Captain- " And was the man you? Why weren't you kicked out as well?"
George - " Yes yes it was me, and I am not sure why I got to stay, I just did.A good thing to because I can't afford any where else .
Captain- What where you and Lazlo arguing about in the hallway a little bit ago?"
George- Startled by the question, " uh we uh we well it was silly really, I want Lazlo to tell the truth about something so Mariam will stop being mad at me. She knows it was me in the bed with Debi and she holds that over me to get what she wants, and she can be very demanding, and mean when she is mad.
Captain- " Tell the truth about what?"
George- Nothing really, just that he eavesdropped on a conversation and then told everyone what he had heard. Mariam thinks I told her secret and is super mad about it, and I want her to know it wasn't me."
Captain- Okay I think we will call it a night. I will be talking to you again.
George leaves the room looking worried and even a little angry.
Curtain close
Curtain open
It is morning, coffee and donuts are on the table a few residents are gathered in jammies holding there mugs talking with each other.
Loud voices are coming from the other room, shouts, curses, the sound of scuffling and fighting, then a loud male scream of pain and terror, along with a thudding bumping sound.
People come running from all around
A body on the floor and people circling it talking excitedly all at once
Mariam, her nephew Andrew, and Lillian come into the room
Lillian- " What on earth has happened now
A voice in the crowd - " It's Lazlo, he fell dow the stairs (another voice) " Or he was pushed" ( the first voice) It looks like he broke his neck, he certainly looks dead.
Mariam- Move aside, didn't any of you ninnies think to check his pulse, ( kneeling down while speaking) has anyone called for help? Lillian-" careful dear don't disturb anything." Mariam - throwing an angry glance at Lillian "Again like last night don't touch or move anything, let the police get here first." ( standing up) " Yep there is no pulse and from the angle he is laying a broken neck is a good guess.
Stepping away from Lazlo, Lillian looks around the room and notices Andrew for the first time. "Andrew, I didn't see you there. How nice of you to come have breakfast with your Aunt, such a shame a tragedy happened to interrupt it."
Andrew- Yes I was just taking a quick minute to check on dear ole aunt Mariam, before getting on to work. I was so worried that she would be beside herself with anxiety, but really she has taken last nights tragedy in her stride. It is just amazing how well adjusted seniors can be. ( he is pompous , young and not overly likable )
The same 2 police offices enter, and Andrew leaves at the same time.
Captain- ( all business and full of confidence) Good morning all, it seems we are going to have a lot to talk about today, so if you would all just make yourselves comfortable we will get to you as quickly as possible." Looking at his deputy " Lets get the room set up and ( looking down at the body and recognizing who it is) I want to speak with George first." ( looking around the room) " Where is George this morning?
Carlos- " He hasn't come down yet, George is not an early riser, by any means, we normally don't see him until after lunch."
Captain- Thank you. Deputy, please go knock on Mr Smiths door, and see if you can't wake him up. Would you please ask him to come and see me. ( Addressing the room ) I still have questions for a few of you about last night, but for right now would you please take a seat over there if you saw or heard anything this morning that you think I might need to know. No matter how small or unimportant you may think it is, you never know how much it might help.
Lillian- ( stage whisper) "and we all know he needs all the help he can get."
Captain- Excuse me, did you say something Mrs Cunningham?
Lillian- No captain I was just clearing my throat.
The deputy enters " Captain, Mr Smith isn't in his room, the door was open and the room is in total chaos, completely in shambles ."
Captain- " Has anyone seen Mr Smith this morning?
The crowd- WHO?
Captain- George, has anyone seen George?" " Deputy lets get an all....... ( looks up as he hears a door open) ( George enters) Mr Smith, I was just about to put a missing persons bulletin out on you. I do recall asking you and everyone else to not leave this place, did I not?"
George- " Yes you did, but I don't see what the big deal is , I couldn't sleep, I was tossing and turning and dying for a smoke, so I walked down the block got me a pack and went over to the park to smoke and to think. You can't do that here you know, smoking isn't allowed and people here don't give you a minutes peace." So what's the big rush anyway, Jessica will still be dead no matter how soon we get back to interview, there will still a killer on the loose and it still won't be me."
Captain-" Well the big deal is that", Pointing to Lazlo still on the floor, George is shocked surprised even saddened by what he sees. " Exactly what do you have to say about that?"
George- Stumbling back into a chair " you don't really think I had, could, would, did this, do you?" The crowd is quiet but just stares at him like they think he could would and did.
Lights go down or curtain
goes back up
In the small room table chair phone note pad and pencil
3 people are seated in chairs in front of the desk and the captain is behind the desk. As the lights go up we hear him say" so you all saw and heard the same thing. Voices, banging the scream and something falling?" Besides Mr Rider did you see any one else come down the stairs?"
In unison, No Sir, we didn't even see Lazlo come down the stairs.
person 1 - We heard all the noice and ran towards it. When we got to the stairs Lazlo was laying at the bottom of it."
Captain- When I came in there were a lot of people gathered around the body, where did they all come from did you see?"
Person 2 - From all over, down the stairs, out of the TV room and the dinning room. We got there first because the breakfast nook is closer to the stairs.
Person 3- Mariam and her nephew must have been in the bar or over by the fire place and I guess Lillian was with them because they all came in together. Carlos and a few others came running down the stairs, and I saw a few ladies coming from the TV room, but most were in the dinning room enjoying breakfast.
Captain- How do you know Mariam and her nephew were in the bar?
Person- because they came from around the other corner, not from the dinning room and they weren't in the nook with us. Come to think of it, they weren't all actually together were they? they seemed to straggle in one by one.
Captain- Thank you you have been very helpful, you may go now. I shan't be calling you again I don't think, but please stay handy, and make sure my deputy has your name and phone #.
The spotlight goes off the Captain sitting thoughtfully at his desk
The light is on Lillian talking with Mariam
" What did your Nephew actually want? He wasn't here for breakfast and he certainly didn't appear overly concerned for your welfare the way he slipped out of here in such a hurry."
Mariam- " Oh nothing to important, he was just asking me once again to loan him money. He doesn't understand, I no longer have any. Everything I had has been spent, I had enough income to cover this slice of heaven and to insure I would always have a roof atop my head, and for a monthly allowance but other than that it is all gone. I told him that but he doesn't really believe me. I think he thought holding those auditions and using some of my friends in his movie would have gotten me to part with the millions he thinks I have. He even thinks there is money to inherit ." ( said with ahead shake and a sad smile)
Lillian- " Why do kids think we have it all? Well at least when they ask where you where when Lazlo fell or was pushed, you have an alibi."
Mariam- Thats just it I don't. Andrew was angry when I told him I didn't have it to give or loan and he stomped off, saying he wasn't gonna waste anymore time visiting a crazy old lady like me. He had just come back to apologize when everyone started running towards the stairs. Thats when you and I bumped into each other ."
Lilliain- " Oh, I am glad he came back and apologized, those were some pretty mean things to say.
Mariam- I am assuming that is why he came back, but he never actually said anything, he never actually got the chance." I am going to go get changed, and grab my book, I think this may be a very long day."
Both walk off Lillian deep in thought, pulling a note pad from her pocket.
Spot light on the desk and captain
Captain- ( asking as the deputy walks in the door) What am I missing? Where is the connection? Where is the motive? What haven't I asked. I have questioned everyone here, some more than once. What am I missing?
Deputy- ( almost a whisper) Not everyone sir.
Captain- " What, excuse me, what did you just say? I interviewed everyone and some more than once. I know because my butt has a permanent imprint from this chair I have been in it so long.
Deputy- ( louder with more confidence) Sir you haven't questioned the nephew, Andrew I believe is his name. He was here last night and this morning and I noticed both times he slid out the door quickly and as quietly as possible, like he didn't want to talk to us."
Captain- What motive could this guy actually have to kill 2 old people he doesn't even know, and how much could he even know about this place, I am sure he doesn't visit that often. No deputy, I see no reason to bother the young man at this time. Our murderer is here and I will find him/her.
Deputy- I am sure you are right sir.
( the deputy turns to go out the door, only to find Lillian standing there. They exchange looks raise their eyebrows, and shrug their shoulders.
Deputy- Excuse me ma'am I was just going to get Mr Jones, do you happen to know where he is?
Lillian- No deputy I don't I am sorry." Lillian continues on into the makeshift office, clearing her throat getting ready to tell the captain what she had just learned.
Captain- Mrs Cunningham, I am sorry but I am to busy at the moment to talk with you. I will have the deputy fetch you later.
Lilian- Bristling and standing tall, " I am not one to be fetched sir. But yes please send for me when you have the time. I have information I am sure you will find useful. Without waiting she turns and leaves the room.
Enters the deputy
Deputy- What did Mrs Cunningham want?"
Captain- " Oh I don't know, some drivel about having information she was sure would help me. I don't really know I wasn't paying attention I was just trying to get rid of her.
Deputy- " You didn't listen to what she had to say? What if it really was helpful?
Captain- It wouldn't have been, besides I am perfectly capable of solving this case by myself, I don't need some Angela Lansbury wanna be interfering with it." Lets go get some lunch and look over our notes, my money is on George, I just need the connection to Ms Bentley and I have my case. Standing up smiling.
Deputy- If you say so sir, turning away from the captain rolling his eyes.
As they walk out the door, the lights dimming, there is the loudest most blood curling scream ever heard by man
The lights curtain go up to reveal a very dead very bloody very stabbed Mariam, sprawled out in front of the fire place.
The residents are beyond scared and crazy, they aren't controllable moving around the room looking for a phone to call taxies families whoever to get them out of there, others are running hollering I gotta pack my bags and more than a few are at the bar drinking in big gulps. It is chaos on steroids.
Captain- Call the station I need more men here. No one leaves and no phone calls either. PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE, please you have got to calm down, we will never get this solved if you keep carrying on like this.
( Lillian and Carlos, figure it out, based on conversation, ? A phone call Carlos takes from a debt collector wanting information on Andrew? and blood splatters leading out the back of the building)
Deputy on the phone- Yes , yes, we will need as many officers as can be spared. Send them over as soon as possible, we are also going to need the homicide kit and the corner. Yes yes right away, thank you.
At the same time deputy is on the phone the trio moves off away from the body and talks quietly with their heads tightly together.
Lillian looking down sees something on the floor, and she starts walking as if following it.
George. Lillian where are you going?
Lillian- shh shhh I'l be right back. Lillian disappears to the back of the stage.
Captain- ( still standing in the sitting area of the fire place room) Mr Smith would like to join me please in my office.
George - startled " yes sure no problem.
Both men head for the make shift office
Once in the office, captain motions for George to take a seat and seats himself behind the desk.
Captain- " would you like to tell me about the argument you and mr rider had?
George- Like I told you before, I was angry with Lazlo for getting me in trouble with Mariam. But that ended when I told Mariam that it was me that had let the secret out.
Captain- No I am talking about the argument you and he had this morning before you pushed him down the stairs.
George- What, wait, what the hell are you trying to say. I did not push anyone down any stairs and I wasn't arguing with anyone this morning, not here or while I was out smoking.
Captain- Did anyone see you out and about smoking? No, I didn't think so. Tell me were you as friendly with Ms Bentley as you were with this Debi person? Was Mariam threatening to tell your secrets is that why you stabbed her? Come on Mr Smith answer my questions. You might as well get use to them your going to be answering a lot of questions where you're going.
Outside the office door a worried Carlos approaches the deputy.
Carlos- Deputy, Lillian, I mean Mrs Cunningham saw something on the floor and she seemed to be following it, but that was a while ago and I haven't seen her come back. I hope she didn't get into any trouble. Also I took a phone message the other day for Mariam, it was a debt collector trying to locate her nephew Andrew.
Deputy- I will have some officers look around for Mrs Cunningham and as for the phone message I am sure it isn't any big deal.
Carlos- I would normally agree accept he was here asking Mariam for money and saying he was making a movie with it. Said he was going to use some of us in too. So this morning Lillian said I should call the studio he said was doing the movie and see what they had to say. So I did........
Deputy- after a slight pause and it is clear Carlos is not continuing, " Well what did the studio tell you?"
Carlos- Oh, that no Andrew Horiwertz at that studio, and no project that matches the movie I described to them.
Deputy- Thank you Mr Jones, I will let the captain know, and I will get right on looking for Mrs Cunningham.
In the Office
George- You have got to be kidding me, you actually think I killed 3 people all to keep people from finding out that as a senior citizen living in a retirement home I have girlfriends.
Captain- I think we are just going to go ahead and sort this out down town. I am placing you under arrest Mr Smith. Would you please stand up and place you hands behind you back.
George does as he is asked shaking his head in disbelief. As the Captain is putting the handcuffs on and starting to read George his rights , a large and extremely loud commotion can be heard in the other room.
Captain- What now? Don't tell me there has been another killing, I sure as hell wouldn't want to retire here, the death rate is a bit to high for my liking. ( To George as he holds the handcuffs and starts walking) Come on you lets go see what trouble there is now, but I am not letting you out of my sight.
In the common area is a sight that the captain wasn't sure was real, believable, let alone understandable. In the very middle of the room is a messed, bruised and somewhat bloody Lillian sitting on an angry even more bruised Andrew kicking and screaming demanding they get this crazy ole bag off him.
Final scene
The summary to be told by Lillian as everyone sits around the table enjoying cake and tea, minus the ice.
The deputy should be female, not as slow as the captain, she rolls her eyes at his dumb ideas and makes her lack of confidence known.
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